#391 – Should I Have A Kid?/
- July 12, 2019
It’s Friday and we’ve got the biggest burger from KFC’s secret menu! We talk about the gross nature of handkerchiefs, fashion styles for kids these days and the ways in which a child changes your relationship.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show we discuss:
– Our Fat Fridays order
– When popcorn chicken came out
– How young people are so fashionable
– How Tommy met Craig Harper
– How a child changes a relationship
– Is having a kid selfish?
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
A conversation sometimes worth recording with mates Tommy Jackett & Josh Janssen. Each weekday, Tommy & Josh chat about life, creativity, business and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and friends of the show! This is The Daily Talk Show.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 391 What's
going on guys? What's happening?
spoke so fucking slow I literally thought about what I need to do tonight. What I want to do on the weekend more within your intro slightly fact that Friday's you're either having you've got a sugar low which means I remember as a kid I had this fuck I got this such vivid memory. I felt like I was hallucinating. I mean, I was in parts of my childhood, my teenage years but Josh room smoking a lot of weight.
But I realised tonight smoking weed. You get a bit trippy
hallucinogen cookies once and the cookies are. They have the same drug is marijuana within THC. But it's different. It goes through your differently when you ingest it. Something happens and it's the closest thing to a hallucinogen or a psychedelic. I've never done psychedelics, but I've done cookies that you know that fuck me up. And it's literally why I didn't touch marijuana for 10 years afterwards after that, because I was like, I'm so paranoid. I was like convinced people would die.
It was just like a stupid,
gave them to somebody else. A bunch of other people in my house. And then I came down to the back room. And they're all on the couch. Originally, what? What have you done to me?
This was like,
and in that state, everyone's fine. No one's fucking dying. But when feels like you're dying. She's like, went back in. And then I was convinced my girlfriend was cheating on me. Turns out she was. But she really had but she was she did great on me. But it was she was getting text messages. And I was convinced that it was like she was having an off with some guy. So you
like some sort of unconscious instinct that the cookies brought out? And now I don't think so.
It just was paranoia. And it was true, though both right? And so what's the fear remember as a kid, being so so hungry and getting lightheaded, and it must have been insulin like some kind of blood sugar stuff, but I remember being out on the trampoline, and I was like, I hadn't eaten and I was just like, felt so it felt out of body. It was weird. I reckon that's where you're at right now.
Yeah, I would do that a lot. But I was going through a stage where I lost a bunch of weight is the most unhealthy way with fast all day. And then have a packet natural confectionery company lolly. And that was about like one of the storeys and it's about 700 towels or whatever. So if I just had if I did, what are you looking at missing? I seven. And we're good. I was just checking the camera. You happy? Yeah. The 700 Club. So that was it. And so I went losing weight, starving myself.
It's calories in calories out. You can lose weight eating Cheetos. Once a day. If you're a fat guy
you could do you can eat Cornetto three times a day and probably Yeah,
yeah, depends. I mean, there will be diminishing returns at some point. What do you mean, you get to a point where your body is adapted to the Cornetto diet? And you know she knows arthritis I don't
know it's like a drumstick. drumsticks I know it Trump's cream. Yes, yes. So
yeah, anyway chicken speaking it let's get out of this psychedelic state. And Jay
all that. That is fucking heavy.
Heavy finger licking good. So the Trend Micro ru.
ru ru, we have to give you a shout out because it was your idea. On the KFC app. You can access a secret menu and the wire. Yeah, but you always pointed out to foreign it loses focus. There's no fucking point.
I saw this come up in my Facebook feed yesterday. And it was the biggest burger that KFC have. It's not on their main menu. It's on the secret menu of his raps tiny What's this for? Okay, so I got four things. This is let me just I want to pull out the menu. I want to pull out the order. I mean, I have spent a fair bit of time working on this. It was cheap. It's like 30 bucks. Right? It's it's junk sheet is junk.
Right. But because the KFC integration was hoping to send a little snippet for them.
I bet I mean, if I was to be honest, I'm not listening to my body today. I don't feel like eating this one bit. But in the true spirit of fat Friday, definitely got to do it.
Yeah, I definitely got a weekend to recover.
Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to go into this. So in in their menu, I literally spent 10 minutes working out how to do this. So you hold it at the top and you swipe down and you get a hold of you saw me doing this and only seven I'm like yeah, basically it looks like you're packing it up and I was like pulling down pulling them pulling down and all of a sudden little kernel pops up. And he's like might you want an order you want to get the secret menu and there's a secret menu bar and there's four things on the secret menu one of them is the what was it called deal the getting back I've got to do it again say Looky there we go sacred many popped up alright, the triple stack which is the big fuck off sighs burger that is 4393 kilojoules that's fine the Naga lot which is a burger with nuggets inside
wasn't much of a nugget kid growing up
for the Kentucky slider and the Kentucky slot small little
slot is ok slot slot is our an inferior product slide is always small slide is to be shared fighters a dislike
So anyway, they the three menu items.
Don't you agree those sliders are always disappointing
Golf I've had some good sliders as finger food at parties but you didn't order the sliders. You just taken what you can get and they were nice anyway. But this thing is so heavy this burger is huge. It is oh geez. That is a solid book. I got one for you baby. And can
Is there something I was recording something for Specsavers again deal? Yeah, we can put in three chips
so why not? So they they said to me and this is the second time we've been at KFC where they don't have any more zinger fillets. And he said we've only got to see if he likes letting me those burgers are meant to have choosing a field that's in H
11am on a fucking Friday and they don't have
me there's a bunch of fat sighs getting there you know secret menu on anyway. So what they did was put one thing a patty plus a another chicken Patty. In those big trouble. stackers Yeah, we still find the same price but I said to him, what do I say to him deal
used to just said you throw in a free chips and the guy sort of looked at you question.
I said threat free
free chips. He's gonna have a chip man place
will kill himself. Now.
It's finger licking good. I've never actually noticed that as a KFC line.
Anyway, this is the this is the other burger. Which is the nog
why KFC chips always soggy
that we're at the bottom of the pack. Okay, guys, what do you want? I know, I know. JJ wants himself a triple stacker. I kind of just want to bite of the triple stacker. I'm willing to and I know Mr. Nice seven doesn't. I mean, he's always he's not a gentleman. He's not he's not a triple standard kind of guy. But I think three day deal is all crash. But what I want to ask is
can I the board of you triple stack most definitely to start with I think
you and I have a mansion.
it feels like a leg of ham. Like it feels like the dense dense ness of a leg of head man he can do this what
Yes, john do a thumbnail
right. Are you okay? Why
we're on a podcast it does no recording or no video shot we're trying
I know and I'm thinking we want to get better at headlines and thumbnails. So let's do a thumbnail
Okay, I'm just gonna raise you before this way Bane tripling out here Get ready for not one and I write two but three juicy Zika fillets so where we fucking
do a voiceover voice because
what the fuck am I doing? Am I not doing that a higher energy Why do we need higher energy it's for aspects
of this because I did a raid for them and had to go higher energy wavy
tripling out here I get ready for not one not two but three juice easy. Honourable and that was a very accountable smoky bacon and cheese with Farhi chilli relish and supercharged sauce if you do not for the faint hearted yeah okay so you know I try not
just what just one more and then I want to hit three they do because they really got a VR job okay
we be tripling down here. Get ready for not one not two but three juicy Zika fillets smoky bacon and cheese with fiery chilli relish and supercharged sauce. If you dare not for the faint hearted, faint hearted the fainted.
faint hearted What do you think? That was actually quite
a Do it Do
you want me to do high energy right Yeah, I do.
What do whatever feels right for the right yeah, you do you baby.
Okay. The triple stacker we be tripling out here. guys ready for not one, not two. But three exclamation point. And juicy zinger fillets. Smoky bacon and cheese with fiery chilli relish and supercharged sauce. If you dare not for the faint hearted
way, what a right. Luck. So
it's as you were saying the smoky bit I smelted it's amazing, like smoky salt is like a smoky source.
Literally where we going to do it. Just like we said, we go into a supermarket and it's like, you're like, guys, my North Star and then all of a sudden you're in the lolly aisle.
I'm just saying what's on Spanish.
But Pete Shepherd, you and I went into the pit now we're like, Where's the facts Josh and then you're firing back at your seat in lowly oil.
Because you're fasting trying to work out which can put chat like, I want to get small ones but the radar is not. You're doing what happy
to be that guy. I guess what I'm saying is that it's just like it's instinct. It's almost like yes, you're already there. It's amazing. Anyway, anyway, let's very heavy countdown 3d deal in your sexy voice for we take this big bite.
Are you ready? Yes. Yeah. 321
of all. I love
the fact that by giving it to the Oh, yeah, yeah. Mouth around
the 19 I think I did a smaller bite because I know I get to
midnight seven. Can everybody another burger?
The nugget burger want to hang on. Okay. Wow.
So it's just a big fill it and then there's a few nuggets in there. I mean, you don't have to be baby. Yeah, I'm just gonna, but if
you don't want the nugget burger, I'll eat it. Okay.
I mean, that small. hot thing with burgers that just patties. It just
tastes like eating Patty. Like it just made such a mess on your face. By the way. It's really um, it's not ideal. Yeah, if we got any. I wouldn't have to watch your face like, man. Man. I use whatever I got. It's not working though. It's like orange. It looks like you've got a ring a beard. Definitely has that vibe.
Wow. Anyway, so I said to my son.
We've been working on the daily talk. show.com website. Yeah, well done, boys. That's a solid effort. Great job three day Don't miss nice. Feeling very good about the website. blog posts. What do you think three to do? What are you trying to work out?
Well, I was just making intimate eye contact with Mason, Mr. 97. And I said, Do you want the burger because I was going to bring the burger over 200 he said no, you eat it. That's
when you know, you know he will do Yeah, he definitely
crush the dude. Dude. You got shit. The side of your face look like my grandfather was I used to dribble at the end of these innings. He would you know, it was good. He's good. He's hankie Yankees,
hankies. And from the fifth. Anyone born in the 50s uses hankies. I mean, there is a case though, we hankies quite convenient if you're a chippy if you're someone who works on the tools at doors. It is convenient, but there is the fact that you've got a
you can put one down is currently got he probably can be doing a photo for Instagram storeys of what he's doing right now.
It's pretty full on Sheila Larry's face. And yeah, he's looking good. Anyway. hankies. Yeah, I got into using a hanky because my dad also uses hanky so maybe it was a windy wash them in the day.
Oh, every day you wash the hanky, we can't
do it. It becomes like dry,
and you blow your nose on it.
Of course in the washing machine or with water. Just not in the washing machine just walking in every day. I have to wash what do you do after you've entertain yourself at night in bed? And then what do you do with those pants?
At the end of the week, you put them in the wash?
Yeah, no. Yeah. Poor Denise.
Anyway, Oh, well. This is Look at this cute little slide. When would you have?
Let's say they thought
I guess it's a slider. It was more of a wrap. It's more like a taco. Yeah. I'd be more interested if they called it a taco. When was the was the last time that you had KFC? That wasn't for content.
With you three gronk when we're coming back from the we stopped in shipping and we did an episode of The Big strawberry
outside of that. Like when would you and Amy go and have KFC? Now we don't.
We don't know. I haven't in a very long time. I can
get like a pretty cheap box from KFC that's like a $4 box or something
sort of thing. Almost like this
is a little meal. Amy's got a few times. Remember when popcorn chicken came out. I was obsessed with it. I loved
it. We do remember 97 it was a big it was a huge, huge thing.
When I was young, the Zika first came out. And my brother and I Maki was really into it.
And I remember
he just got his licence. And we drive out in a pain hallway to the closest KFC which was in ormond. And we get a burger. But it was is interesting because it was specifically around getting this thing a burger being spicy. And I mean it's just it's like the flavour. Yeah, but we are so spoiled now for food choices. So what
kids do it like what is the equivalent now
going out for brunch and getting smashed avocado that's what the facts are
is this. This is what I'm confused about. Because brand mentions every single time. Some young girls who are like 14 walk past breakaway says I can't believe how fashionable young people are now that I don't think that our perception what's going on
now hundred percent. It is the times the clothes that people wear now were popular when we're growing up. Slippery pants were I mean, I'm still wearing them.
But there was a there was a difference between what
adults would wear and what we would wear as kids. Whereas now what kids are wearing the exact same things adults
sweat. Yeah. And then you've got people like my grant father, who were who wore slacks shirts every day, well groomed, old school. Think about grandparents nowadays. They'll be in fact in onesies. They'll be they'll been added, as you know, I think about like, what what is classified as cool that kind of straight were sure. Like imagine a 95 year old bloke wearing each pig.
It looked like it just got out of jail. It's a it's a certain look.
Well, it's cool. And I think young skaters and shit and young kids make it look cool. I just actually, you know, there's definitely something to be said about old people wearing what young people would wear. And then the old people just looking cool. The fact is a woman. I think I remember she would go to music festivals who was like, you know, I do 90s and she was hip. And she looks I just remember it was like,
is it try hard at that point or she's? She's always been cool.
Maybe she just knows he knows the time's right? And so what was what, what we're saying is there's a shift between what old people were and what young people were. And so then just it's not tryhard because that's just what people were and I mean, it's it's an interesting one. I mean, people who were we had hopper on who is fashion is whatever the fact he wants, you
know, he doesn't give a fuck,
doesn't he? doesn't think about he's won the same thing. Since I've known him. I realised that I messaged Craig hapa. When are 1712 years ago? That's a long time
you did actually gone over my head that you'd contacted him for that original job. Do I thought that the first time I thought you went on a programme that he did or whatever. And so it started way earlier. How did they even get on your radar? Because it's not like you would have to
go cheated on me.
What was her name? Jessie, Rachel,
Rachel. And obviously, here's the thing, guys, you know, you might have a fucking partner, and you know, is cheating on you. And I know you've read the messages that say I miss you. I wish will snuggling right now. She's cheating on you. He's cheating on you. Get the fuck out. And they don't do yourself a disservice staying around.
And so what did you What happened? I remember, I,
I found that exact message looking for a phone because then you become this fact wit? Whose would have been like insecure and looking through finds and trying to find you. How are we at? Yeah, I was like, I remember she didn't even count my 18th birthday. Because
why this is
so long ago, we were together and she didn't even come to my 18th birthday. Because her her friend was born the same day had my birthday. My birthday, first of September. She went to her birthday instead which I get it but it's also we were we were dating and it was a bit is a bit unusual. I strange. And anyway, anyway, she was cheating on me and ended up breaking out but her dad's new wife. That wasn't Mr. Stedman or soon to be stepmom think they were getting married, was a PTA. She was lovely. And I was getting into and so like, I'm fucking networking with her. She had a studio at a house and she's like, I've got
to hang out with the girlfriends.
doing better polarities.
No, nothing like that. I went around they once I think and then I've always thought about what I want, whether it be personal training, whether it be getting into video, and look for the perfect, perfect moment to network. I got my first video job by going to a cafe, bumping into a guy who I went to school with who owned a business up in Sydney. And he said, What are you doing? What do you skills? I said videos bola. All right. I'll speak to some people at the office. We're going to call that afternoon got work and it's kind of kickstart my career. But same when I was young 17 I got I met them and I was like, I just saw it as an opportunity. Great. I'm doing this. Love that. And I just get curious. Right? And for some reason, I got onto the fact that hapas Jim was somewhere I'd love to go down there lovely. I she's like I I know, Craig, I've been working down there. I've never actually spoken to Craig about
her since I wonder if Rachel step mom listens to Harper's podcast. Yeah, maybe I can remember you.
I mean, maybe it's like that was a boyfriend at that time. I actually don't think they're together anymore. So anyway, remember the gas p she gave me his number. And I remember where I was, I was at my my Christians house, I've been asked to make and I went out the front. heart beating is probably how my son felt when he was going on the first date. I was about to call the guy named Craig. Hi. How, you know, he was he was the man first PT studio in Australia and calling in cold call. And so I and I did kind of remember if she said to him that I'll be calling. And so I saw his show weed. And I just called. And I just I think I don't think I've had his number in my phone ever since. Because I haven't changed my number. And I called and I just remember saying is very I basically said, I'm looking for work. I'd love to work in your gym. And he said no, you can come in do some work experience. And I remember, I remember going there. I remember walking from my house in Brighton, because I quit school and you know, mom was working or whatever dad was working. And I had to walk in I remember I had a cold. But I was I'm not not showing up. Like I just got to show up. And I and I did and I felt shitty. And I did it. But it's interesting how shit like that. He's in here. And he's one of our biggest supporters. Now,
did you all right, what did your parents say when you decided not to go back to school?
It was a long, it was a long time coming. It was I hadn't really been involved with school. I'd been checked out for a long time, and more focused on my social life.
Did they ever give you an ultimatum? Like if you don't start sorting it out, you're gonna find somewhere else to live now? Never. That's good. Like, there. I feel like a lot of families like that. I mean, it's one approach of many, right? It's not, you would? Could you imagine with Bodie? What sort of, you know, what sort of parenting you're going to be at that stage?
I've always some reason. I think if there's something tough going on, I like to pull him out of school and just go travelling with it. Like, imagine that feeling shit. And we're just like, dude, that's fucking guy and say, it's just me and him. And mom, and what it you know, even if we've got another kid, human, I can just go and explore. I can't wait. I was thinking this week. I was like, I cannot wait to be able to just text him this code. You want to have lunch? Like, I can't wait for that. You
know, it's a why when he's in school, you're gonna be like, yeah,
just like, what are you doing? Like said I do wanna? Should we go if I can go for Baccarat and get lunch? Like I just some reason? I don't know. It's so cool.
That would be that would be fun.
It's a it's a best friend. You know? Like, it's, it's like another Bry Yeah, imagine having another brain actually, you know, that sort of quote like you love brace. Unbelievably, it's like,
you got that same another one and come
comfortable in this
around them. What happens when you have a kid? With your relationship with your partner?
It's hard. It's much. I think that when we're away we listen. I listened to this john legend song. And it was he's a pianist singer. Amazing. It's going out with Chrissy Teigen. He's, I know who that is. Yeah, I'm trying to give you some reference to who he is. You know? He sings all of me. Yeah, yeah, definitely. You would have built out some really sad
romantic Yeah, how does it go? Miss 97 I'm not giving you a demo.
Anyway, we, we, we danced to him at our wedding. I
thought you meant on the weekend. I think you
it's one of those. You've I think if you when you have a thing you do with your partner, as from for me, and I went before we would go out and Sydney would drink some ciders and put on some john legend. And just, it was lovely. And so we we love listening to him. But in one of the songs. I can't remember the words, but it was just about how relationships are hard, right. And when you have a kid, things change, it's not as easy to have six, it's not as easy to connect, because you've got this district, this thing you need to look after. And so it becomes it more of a challenge. But with that, you know, this is why I can see why a lot of relationships. Marriages don't work. When kids come into the picture. It's easy to just fucking focus your attention on the kid and away from your relationship. And so
it's challenging. Do you think there's a default that you need to feel like? There's there's that default that I should have kids? And that may be your selfish if you don't have kids? Are you missing out on something? I think
you're missing out. I think you're selfish. And I think we're all selfish. Either way, if we have kids or not, I just think about when I didn't have kids, and I thought, fact when we saw that time that I now focus on my child, like doing this podcast seven days a week in business. I've also got a kid that I didn't, that I found time for, which is amazing that
we think is interesting. I think the interesting bit is that
it is that it's framed in missing missing out. Because I think that like everyone's got a unique experience. Or they're all like everyone like you might be a great dad or you might have that might be an aspiration.
missing. It sounds like it's negative.
I don't think it has to be missing out feels like it's a universal thing that you're missing out on.
I don't think it's but I don't think it has doesn't have to have a negative connotation associated with it. The missing out could be remember all it's any advice is always reference with personal experience. So the effect the love I have for bowtie I would love you to experience in that way. But
I because everyone has done for me. But isn't it like from a everyone seeks fulfilment in different ways? Yeah, and it might not be so. But that's the thing, like the default the way that people some people talk about parenting or having a kid. It's using that one unique experience, or this change may or I'm, you know, better off because of x, y and Zed similar to like, what
do we have to go on though? And so if it's you love reading or you love making videos, are you going to try I know missing out is one way of phrasing it's probably not the right turn phrase. It's amazing
It is life changing. It is all these things or not. You might hate it, you might be shit dead. That's like saying you might be the thing is like, this is horrible. Yeah, like I I like
being selfish. I wonder how many people feel the pressure to have a kid or have a family or to get married or to buy a house or to do whatever it is, based on the universal narrative that you've got a you've got to do it.
mean, I had someone in regards to having children and purpose and it was like, what's the point when you're old? If you don't?
And I think that's the
what's the point you like, you know, to have somebody to love to have? And if you can do it, it's it I get it. Right. That's why one comments from a privileged
position or says privilege,
but I don't think it's I don't think you can, I don't think it means that you can't have that thought and, you know, I think you can have the same like you can have a conversation about that. That doesn't mean that anyone who can't do that sucked in. It's just like, what do you think it is?
Yeah, I think it's interesting looking at at it from like, from a, from a negative standpoint, in terms of like missing out on it, because I would probably sound more similar to Tommy in, in regards to wanting kids and being able to, yeah, experience all the things that Tommy is talking about, but it doesn't discount the fact that you don't find in like, you won't actually you might not find enjoyment in having those kids or you might not experience the same emotion. So yeah, it's, I mean, it's completely dependent upon the person.
Yeah. Because I guess if, if we're wired differently, and some people are wired one way, and some people are wired another way. It's like, even like, I'm wary of like, when we talked to Mr. 97, about relationships, were going on it based on our unique experience. And it comes from a good place, which is like, we see the value in having long term relationships. But there's also a bunch of people who create Harper is a great example, someone who has a huge amount of fulfilment, has a lot of happiness.
I don't like I don't know how productive or feel is to, you know, feel like those people are missing out? Or it's, um, yeah, that there's a missed opportunity. Like it. I don't think that the idea that everyone needs to become parents needs to be the thing.
Yeah, I don't think I think we'd have a massive problem if every single person that could reproduce reproduced it on this earth. Yeah, we've already already got, you know, overpopulation of the overpopulation in some areas, they restricting it in places like China. It's like, you know, one child or some crazy rule, 3d deal, what do you do you want kids?
Yeah, I want kids, but at the same time, like, I want, like, from your perspective, Tommy, I would want to have that experience with my kids someday. But at the same time, to your point, Josh, I love my alone time, and I love just being able to do what I want, when I want, I don't have to worry about taking care of this other thing in my life. So it's, it's a bit of a toss up, but maybe it's figuring out what's best for you at that point in your life, because like, I'm not gonna have kids now. I'm gonna have kids in 6789, maybe 10 years. And at that point, that in further on down the road, it might be the right time for me,
I guess it comes down to what do you values, what's important in life. Because I get like, there's a lot of parents who don't see their kids, that would might as well not have a kid at all. So I guess that's, that's part of it as well. Like, being a parent probably has a lot of pain to it, is
it's very hard. It's, I personally, love
responsibility gives me being responsible for a child being responsible for someone else is a is an ultimate privilege. And really gives me fulfilment.
So does that the fulfilment that you get from having a kid, you're talking about at taking away? The companionship that you have with your partner? Can it can it definitely doesn't?
I would say, I can't speak for every relationship, but I think there is a another layer of pressure adds because there's a focus taken away from like, what what are we doing on the weekend, you just asked you want to go? Why should we go? You know, like, we can't do that. And so what that creates is a lack of time to connect. So it just means that you need to work on it.
Yeah, so because I wonder because I think about what my future is, I think about companionship, I think about brain, I think about travelling and doing things and having a home and being able to give love and give into things like having extended family or having people like Bodie, kids in it like that aren't ours, but that we can have shared experiences with I think it's much unique, I think, you you're paddling down, you're paddling upstream, most people are going down in terms of your thinking around kids, most you I don't know many people, my brother actually says he doesn't want you. But the I don't know, when he started saying that you've been saying it forever. Which I just wonder, I feel like there is and maybe it's because everyone, every parent, every kid every like we all have parents. And so if we think about who we look up to, or who we have to model off, we have our parents, and our parents, for the most part, I can say, being a parents awesome, or you should be a parent, because that's a value that by default everyone has because everyone has a parent. So I guess that's part of it too, right? Which is like, the people who didn't have kids, I would hear my parents talking about sad that they like, what are they going to do when they were older? Or, you know, when is someone so going to find a partner? You know, when are they going to get have kids, but it feels like I don't like you, it feels like there's another option at the moment, it feels like it's either you have kids, or you choose a path of less fulfilment, or
I don't think it's like that. I I see what you're saying, though, that people, the way it's painted, can come across like that, but there's a lot of backwards in the world.
But also I thinking, but it's I think it also sets the, the idea that by by making that choice, that there's certain things within that character of the person, that is not good. The society in regards to like, not like it, I think that it's either you have kids, which means your external loving, like someone who's fulfilled and all that sort of thing. Or you are independent, individually focused, not a community person. Whereas I feel like there is that other option, which is like, my brain I haven't rolled out adopting, we could adopt eventually, or we could do something else. But it's just like, aka the show. Yeah, I hope you very good. And could you imagine could go to me go to wherever we're picking them up from
now. I mean, how I mean, I mean, has a, a want to adopt? And it's, it's interesting. I mean, that's a conversation, where I'm on the other side, where I'm saying, I want a child like it becomes like the selfish thing where you're like, why I want I want a baby what mine? Yeah, so where does that what is that? Which doesn't mean I don't have empathy, sympathy for kids that need to be adopted? Because there's amazing kids need a home and need loving parents. So
what is it that you're then seeking?
Why don't I just I feel like two kids is what I think in my head of what I'd like, but I stop having one you think, for me as a three would be great, but then you realise one's fucking hard. You were just thinking about what you came from for your kids. And, and then I and then I think about, I don't know if this is the thing, right, another arm of this conversation is are you selfish? Is it a selfish choice to want your own job? Your own a lot? Your own mini me? Is it this fucking narcissistic thing? Is it? Or
is it just? I think it's interesting
taking a bloodline along. I don't know. I don't know what the answer is. But I, I feel like I and it's conversation. I mean, I've had and it's, it's not an easy conversation. If she wants to talk I want to have
How much? How much of it is practical? How much is it? Like when I'm 70?
There's going to be
I'm going to have kids who can come to the beach house, and they're going to have kids like how much you try. I've never thought that for I've never thought like that. I've never thought I mean, I didn't think we were going to have a baby on here when I was doing. We made him but you I've never been in that. Like are I've always like Mr. Nice. No Deal. I've never gone. Yeah, I can't wait to have kids like it's happening in this day. The way planning. It just happened. You know, this is great. But you another challenge.
But you've I think that in regards to I reckon you're very engaged as a dad, compared to a lot of people like it is a priority. You're thinking about what needs to be done. There's a lot of like, I think about the old school thing, which is like, yeah, like my dad was at work a lot. So it's like, Yeah, he's working. Moms, you know, taking us to school dropping off, right. So I think that feels like there's more. Like I was calling blogs this morning, is like are dropping off. You know, the kids or whatever. It's like, my dad wasn't real. Like he was already he was left by six and
dad, your dad was working the same to loving, it was really loving, is really loving, if not more of a softy than he's ever been. Yeah, since her ass having grandkids and seeing a different, but I feel regret. I feel guilt working, like being in life not being able to pick him up. I feel those things because I actually want to spend time with him.
What? What do you think about the pressure of parents having to have a career doing well within their work? And then also having kids and being a great parent?
It's it is a complex equation. One of the women at daycare, you know, appropriately said to Amy, because we picked him up picked up buddy lies. Why? Because he's but he was he was acting up. He pushed the baby over. He's a kid. He's back in just a bit out there. He's not he's a baby being a fucking idiot. Yeah. Buddy, tell me. But she said in in reference to his behaviour. Is this why you leave? Is this why you drop you off early and became up late. It was something along those lines, which is super fucking triggering and inappropriate. Somebody who were paying money like we, the problem is, I think it's highly emotional and her job very hard, and emotionally taxing. Because I know what it's like being around a kid for you know, couple of hours before they go to sleep, let alone 30 kids that are running around now there's no time. But when I can get how good just be emotionally draining because other times She's amazing. And she loves Bodie, this woman and I'm right up with her. I wasn't in the conversation. It's literally happened twice where she said something like this, and I haven't been there. So I don't know if it's just the time. She's saying it to me. I don't know. I don't know if she maybe she would say to me if I was there in the times that he'd been
in a fight a fight that when you're not, because this context is time
Exactly. Who was that? You know, push to push the kid over in front of their parents and now a very angry, or they just telling his family? Because the parent? Yeah. And I don't know, My point being is there are things coming from every angle that rattle you as a parent, and can trigger you to feel guilt or shame or, which is I think the signals you get as someone who doesn't want kids is when someone says it's it's amazing. It's the sense that it's like, well, if you say that it surely means the opposite, that it means that I'm doing everything.
Nobody, I think you said you're saying? Well, we're saying missing out. I'm just saying
I'm saying what people might say are you missing out on? It's it's the best or so you're saying my situation is the worst? I think the
No, no, it's not saying that. But I think it's
the language then becomes It feels like it's judgmental, or maybe when you are walking a different path. So for instance, if you see yourself as gender fluid or gender neutral, people using pronouns are more likely to upset you or trigger you based on not being able to understand or empathise or identify with what those people are saying. And so even though, we might say, hey, and she and just use it all that sort of thing, for someone who doesn't identify, that does have some sort of feeling of like, ah, based on the language that talking. I don't fit within this, this conversation, or based on this conversation. I am not equal. Oh, yeah. I
mean, if you feel left out, you feel I mean, you can't
Yeah, so that's just how someone is also like, it's the way society is set up. It's like a lot of that unconscious stuff. It's all constantly happening. And we don't even consider it.
We're categorising, right. male female, simple look a bowtie long haired little girl, obviously. Yeah. I see a little dickie teddy bear. If he doesn't want that when he's older. so bad.
Whatever. He feels like adopting stuff. It's interesting.
It's It's tough. And I and I think
so what is the what is the actual thought process? Like go from I know how hard it
is? And I don't want to not give a kid who's having your kids Hard. Hard. Give me Yeah, yeah. Which is the other thing if Amy said, done, I'm not fucking doing that. Shoot again. Do you think that that's the
direction should feel the pressure? If you if you say
I'm wearing on a bet she wants to have another kid, we get to that point where you forget about how hard it was? And then you're like, I could probably go again.
Yeah. And so what is the like?
I mean, the thing is, I'm not anti adoption. I think it's amazing if you can adopt, it's it's just saying this is a hard thing, right? Where you can be severely judged by some just the fact that I want to have a baby with my wife, like we've had voted if we can, and if not, then maybe I would think of something else.
But I guess if it's if if it's coming from, if it was, if you both have the universal value that we want to have a kid and we want to be ours. To ease it, it's a little a non issue. But the fact that one person in the partnership, he's bringing up the adoption thing does bring up the question of like, Okay, why? Why can Uh huh, what is the actual practical field? Yeah, cuz I haven't looked into it.
I don't know anything. When it comes to the practical nature of it. Ryan, john picked up when he was six weeks old. Yeah, there is born. He's now got a loving mouth. And you know, like it's
Brian john would be likely to adopt.
I'm sure he has a you know, I'm sure he has a strong feeling towards that being something that he wouldn't do. Like, as if you wouldn't, right. You know, a guy who was adopted? No, maybe it was he? He the mother was right. And he was the baby from that. Yeah. And he's is a great guy. Like, he's amazing. And what a fucking thing to feel. We're an existence to think out where it started. And, you know, that's, it's fucking my life. And so, yeah, I've got nothing against adoption. I think it's great.
What is it will tell you?
I don't know. I can't articulate it. What have I thought before? I thought I thought I, I don't know. So we're not told it. Like, this is not like we've said, great. We want to adopt a kid at six weeks. It's not been like that. If I want. So if I was to build a case, I would like to adopt a young, young young age so that they can integrate into the family. Yeah. I feel like at the moment, we definitely not set up to take on a kid. That's three, four years old. Yes. That's the one that that's how it happens. I don't even know how it is. I wouldn't want to put a kid through that. At at that age.
So if it was just the six What if it was pick him up at six weeks? I
yeah, I don't. I don't know if I feel and maybe I could be completely wrong. But the connexion the emotional connexion? I don't know. It's something you'd have to build. There is definitely something chemically that goes on with your with a child once you know, for a woman. Yeah, definitely for a woman. But and then you're, you know, the baby latches on. And some women don't experience it. Some others do this, like, what is it? There's a chemical that's released that bonds you with the child, right, which is at birth, not everybody has this release, sometimes they can give you the chemical the the thing that will help release it as the baby's latching on connecting, right. And I know the feeling I had with my child. Bodie after nine months of talking with my wife feeling or in the Tommy, like that whole process is like, the unknown. And I don't know. I don't know, because this is the thing I you can feel selfish for thinking like this.
I mean, what? What's the goal of having a kid? I don't
know if there's a goal. I'm not goal. Why do we do it? Like, what's
the what's the value that you're trying to? I don't know,
when it's when it's an accident.
I mean, it wasn't it maybe for you. We never lives intentions.
We're never doing this though. Dude. I'm the guy that knocks up a girl at a date. And what's his goal? His goal was single focused in that moment. One minute.
Yeah, but I think that there's a
but I don't think I don't definitely don't think about what's the goal here. It is never crossed my mind. What's the goal here?
Well, why isn't a question why a good question to ask, is why do we? Why do we, why am I buying a house? Or why am I going to school on one Meadow? Like, if you think about it, we asked why about all these? Because it
was the cost the cost is because it's like bringing
someone into the world.
Yeah, there's a huge cost to we're not talking about something that no one does. We're talking about something that is a part of the human experience for a lot of people.
So that's why I'm saying so you're so because it's a universal thing.
I think because it's so universal. It's not something I'm going through going what's the goal here, it's like, it's not Uncharted for, you know, the human existence, it's it, it's not out of the norm. If you look at, you know, like, we're all we're all we've all been children, we've all come from that place someone's sacrifice for us. And so I do see it. And so, Richard, retrospectively, I think, I didn't have a goal. But then you look at what, what it does to you as a human, and what you need to give up what your focus shifts. What you you know, it's like, I think I've seen young mothers that have been, that have fallen pregnant at a young age, super mature, and it's done something. And so it's done something to them, where it's like, it's given them an understanding of this life, we're living that has come from that. And so it's not decide that it's not if you don't, if you've had, if you haven't had that, whatever, it's just it is in our decision step. If it's a lifestyle decision, wouldn't you think your lifestyle decision is geared around creating a great lifestyle like a
No, no, but I'm saying like I said, like, how it's a
lifestyle decision that what we're lifestyle decision is, you know, I want to be able to choose and Christmas with a family. I
think most people look at it like this. I don't think most people look at it going goal.
So why do people do it?
I think people fall pregnant. People have a soft,
like, youngsters here. And they've both said, I can imagine myself having a kid.
Right? What is it? What are the coal, human traits, like, love, like the emotions that you feel? It's it, it stimulates all of those, and it is highly, highly rewarding. And I think that's why we see I don't know, people have just been enough, like an affection for a soft spot, like a caring and loving and maybe some people who haven't experienced this in their life, they didn't have a loving upbringing, that could be a goal. Maybe I see that as something else I want to I want to do what wasn't done for me, I can see that. But I've never articulated like that I came from a very loving environment, family very blessed that that was the case for me. And, you know, lots of opportunities as a kid and I. Yeah, I know. This is I mean, we're talking trying to find answers to fucking complex shit.
Because it's a tough question.
Because you asked these questions, because I don't think we should ask, I don't think you'd have
to have you guys asked these questions for yourself.
Um, no, only because I've never been in a situation where it's been a possibility. Like, I've never been in a relationship where the end goal was to get married and have kids, per se, or the end goal was to get married and create a life for ourselves. And say, in the future, if Getting married is the end goal, and then creating a life for ourselves and kids have kids happened to be a part of that lifestyle, then I'm okay with that. But say in the situation that I marry a girl that can't have kids, or like we can't, it just doesn't work. That's not in my like, the way I see it. It's not a bad thing. It's It's just what what life gives you Really? Mm
hmm. What do you think Mr. Nice?
Yeah, it's, I think, I think there's this problem. I mean, for me, and it sounds like it from Tommy as well. I guess it's what he was trying to articulate. But it's like, there's sort of an innate desire and a lot of people to crave that actual connexion. And that relationship with a kid to actually care and love for someone. And I think, I guess the way that I think about is less about a goal, like, Oh, I can't wait to spend Christmas, but it's just like, looking like me looking at Tommy and like the videos of Bodie and him. Just like laughing or playing together. It's that sort of
connexion that you can't really explain that you sort of crave?
Do you think that you crave that connexion more than you do? a life partner or a companion?
Yeah, maybe at the moment? Yeah. I think I think for me, it's dependent upon who I surround myself with. So I see, like Tommy with Bodie, and that's something that I will. Yeah, I think I think at the moment, if I had to think of it like that, then yeah, that would be something that I'm more looking forward to. But
I think it's hard to have a goal is something you don't know. I don't you don't know? what it would do it. I didn't know this, how it makes me feel, if I retrospectively look back, and I was to think, okay, but you can if I was to know what I know, now, back then, before I had a kid, maybe I would have thought the goal. The goal was to have a kid because I want those feelings. I never, I never, that was never the step how
much of it is seeking a family dynamic versus an individual relationship with your kids.
I think it's great. Like I love I think about the fond memories of my childhood, family holidays, Mom and Dad and seeing my mom and dad love each other so much, and, and my brothers and just this family involved. And I think maybe you want to replicate it. I think that's probably something a lot of people do. They say, Well, I had that great, loving environment. I'd love to replicate that. Because I knew what it felt like. Yeah, I feel like I mean, I you know, there's, there's moments I feel like I'm a kid again, having Amy and Bodie coming home, you know wanting to be at home, like feeling the warmth of my house,
I did feel that your your kid the other day when travelling to the post about all the kids were out. And they were watching TV. And they were because it was school holidays, they all had their sleeping bag, I think we
we want to a lot of us want to teach a lot of us like there's so much fulfilment in teaching. I got it when I was painting, like I had a lot of fulfilment, helping others become better and learn. And I know you love that. And it's definitely a reward of being a parent, you look at yourself, and I think about buddies just started bike riding, like he had the food over the weekend. He just he's big enough now for his little pedal this bike where he can and we put him down the hill. And he and he knows how to balance and it's like, fact, this is amazing. I'm thinking about riding the Ruby next year, Melvin rice, like, I can't wait to bike ride with him. And it's I don't know, it's this weird thing where you've got an and at this moment, I have a very complicated relationship with somebody who is my best friend. Yeah. And that's fucking amazing. And if you don't have that, okay, you just don't have that. You know, maybe you find that your wife, your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, you know, and so on. And I think
aside, how do people know whether they're making the right decision?
When's the right time? Never baby? I think the answer is, there's no fucking right time. It stretches you regardless, you won't have enough money you don't have enough money today. When you earn more money. You won't have enough money then
because I've heard that a lot people say it's never a right time Africa, I think it is, which I agree with. But then there's people that just shouldn't have a kitten or based on you know, their thoughts or what? Life and so that's
kids can be life saving. Yeah, I'm not saying that's why you should do it to try and save your life. But I'm sure that the reason people have turned their life upside down is because of whatever is around having a turning upside down going the other way down to one it gone backside.
Disaster upside down, turn it upside my life. I'm going to switch it upside down. I was out the wrong way. Okay, so you're up the wrong way. And now you're back up the show. I think it's a you can use the side down and
have you ever thought about that up? side upside down?
Yeah, I've never thought about
what side you on up
he up side he's down Is that what it sounds basically
up the side is facing down
Can you Google a place upside down but before we go and then fat Fridays let's talk about you definitely well phrase of the week upside down was that what
the word upside down
but what does that mean?
What is the mania of upside down
with the upper part where the lower part should be in or into an inverted position? Okay,
read the first thing he
does he's he's a question is to use that phrase is gravity
right because then there's no gravity, that's what the fuck is what is down one more time
with the upper part where the lower part should be
quite slow stop for a sec, upper part with a lower part should be should be okay, so if the roof was flipped on to the floor
down down but is it relevant to gravity? Because then it wouldn't be
actually it makes a lot more sense so it's only ever referring to the up beard being down not downside up well that would be downside up
which is interesting isn't anyway flipping upside upside down? What is
the opposite of upside down? downside up right. Right side up.
What is the what is the terminology?
You know what I mean? Listen, just the Cavalier gronk trying to make a tonne of work. I'm just trying to breed a bunch of gronk
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No but I'm Dylan underscore torvill two hours two L's and
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this is disgusting, mate. I don't recommend that. That KFC. I mean, you ate the whole thing three to deal with you finish.
Finish that before Josh finished. You do Really?
Yeah. Eric night. We need to get him eating against Hawks. I mean, you'll lose that.
Yeah. Good. He's confident today talk show. We'll see you on the weekend guys for waking Banta.