Josh's Blow-Up At Myer

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronkh Squad.

Josh: That's crazy! We've committed to do the Daily Talk Show for 10 years.

Tommy: Hi guys! Hi guys!

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. It's the Daily Talk Show episode 10-10.

Tommy: Yeah, that rattled me for some reason.

Josh: That's right, 1,010.

Tommy: Welcome, uh, Georgie Boy and Kaz, who are in the building. Georgie Boy's mum.

Josh: They don't have a microphone, but I just wanted to acknowledge them.

Tommy: Yes, because there's a bit of pressure. I'm a bit nervous.

Josh: Yeah, I feel like I'm already showing off.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, you are, mate. Should we keep going with the explanation about everything in the studio, about what it is?

Josh: So I explained the soft lights.

Tommy: Yeah, Elzo Digital, that's where we got them from.

Josh: Uh, what else have I explained? The, uh, I explained that we don't have headphones for them. I apologise for that.

Tommy: But we do have some gifts that have been given, which is perfect because I really wanted that sort of afternoon pick-me-up. Kaz has brought a Florentina Belgian chocolate. I think I used to get these at Mum's place. No, didn't. Different. Very different.

Josh: I'm just trying one now. They sort of look like, oh, they're harder than what I would imagine.

Tommy: They taste healthy.

Josh: And so, Kaz is down for Mother's Day.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: What did you do on Mother's Day?

Tommy: Happy Mother's Day, Kaz, by the way.

Josh: Happy Mother's Day. And all the mothers listening.

Tommy: For my wife, I—

Josh: So, who gets it? Can I just say, who gets— When you have a wife that has a child that's yours and but you also have a mum, what's the sort of the pie split in regards to time and energy spent on your wife/mother of your child versus your mum?

Tommy: Yeah. I think Mum will forgive me more if I don't get her a prezzie. But I got her some flowers. We got her some flowers, Michael. Amy and I. But I got Amy—

Josh: Split a bouquet down the middle.

Tommy: I tell you, you can't go wrong with a wheat bag.

Josh: Oh, yeah. You cannot go wrong with a wheat bag. It's funny you say that because Mum had something around her stomach.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And I said, what is that? And she turns around, it's a heat pack that straps on around the waist and then it goes perfectly on her back.

Tommy: It was fucking awesome.

Josh: Yeah. And so what did you— so you got your mum some flowers?

Tommy: Well, yeah, I got mum some flowers on the way to her joint, which, um, my mum— Mum has got accustomed to no presents. Sure. Marrying my dad.

Josh: Yeah, he's not a present guy.

Tommy: Absolutely not. He'll give you— he'll build you a studio, a podcast studio, and he won't get you anything for your birthday. Don't think I've ever got a present from him, which is fine.

Josh: Yeah, I've got a lot of time out of that guy. And so Mother's Day, what did you do for her?

Tommy: Yeah. So we woke up, made it. But here's the thing. Bodhi's 4 and he can't keep a secret. He's like his Uncle Josh.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Tell Josh something, he'll go into the room. So I told Bodhi, got a present, we're making pancakes. Walk straight in. Mum, we're making you pancakes. Just straight in.

Josh: Yeah, no, I understand.

Tommy: And he wanted to open the present. And so we made Amy pancakes. We put blue— green dye into them because Bodhi wanted that. And we had a nice little picnic around the—

Josh: Had some asthma together with the green?

Tommy: No, it didn't give us asthma. I think it's natural food, food colouring. So, we had pancakes and that was really lovely.

Josh: Do you put ice cream?

Tommy: No, just maple syrup.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Wasn't too— I mean, wasn't too much. But then we drove to Mum's place and spent the afternoon there and I slept in my Mum's bed to have a nap.

Josh: Oh, that's sweet.

Tommy: It's lovely. What did you do?

Josh: Yeah, well, we left quite late on Friday. We're watching Fetch on the television, some MTV at the office. And then I drove to get Bree. And then she said, let's go to Shoppo Doncaster.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Because what my mum wanted was from Myer. And so, we actually drove to Myer on a Friday night at 7 PM.

Tommy: What'd she want?

Josh: She wanted like a diffuser and like a certain fragrance and a candle that had one of the wooden wicks on it.

Tommy: Okay.

Josh: And we, I actually had a blow-up at Maya with someone.

Tommy: With who? In the line?

Josh: In? No. So, I, we got the stuff, like, Pari knows exactly what Mum wanted. And so, she gets it and she's holding it. And then we're looking at cards as we were waiting to be served.. And I was a little bit anxious about what was going on because it wasn't too clear where the entry for the line was. So, it was sort of one of those things where it's like you've got like a spot for cards.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And then you could have left or right people come in.

Tommy: And can I just say, Maya is one of the worst customer experiences on earth.

Josh: Wait for this one. So, I, it has, they have like dots on the grounds where, you know, where you've got to stand.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And I heard a family, like, it seemed like they had a situation where they had multiple vouchers going, whatever it was, it was taking a long time. Yeah. And I sort of was thinking a lot about other options. Is there somewhere else we can go? This is going to fucking take forever. But then the woman who was serving the people said, Sorry about that. Won't be long. Anyway, I thought, okay, got good rapport with this person. She seems nice. Great. We go up to pay and she says, how about that? I was watching as— and she points to Bri— as you were holding all of the stuff and the man here— points to me as in I'm the man— with your hands in your pockets. And I said, I said, I was trying to figure out if there was a quicker way to cheque out than this. And then I sort of got a side glance from from Bree.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And then the woman said, oh, I'm only having a laugh. And then midway through paying, I just turned around, walked away, and went on my phone. And then Bree said, um, probably overreacted there, she was just joking. But, um, it felt, um, you know, like how you like a personal— no, you know how you— but you know how like a personal attack, you don't normally feel good?

Tommy: No, but that's passive.

Josh: Yeah, I felt so good.

Tommy: I felt—

Josh: I was on cloud nine. I felt so good about like, I reckon fucked her night a little bit, but she fucked my night. And so it felt like it was sort of evened out. And, and the thing is, it was so petty, it was so small, it was nothing really personal. Um, was it busy? No, it wasn't busy. And so it just felt like it was— but then it was like—

Tommy: did you get a badge?

Josh: No, I didn't, I didn't get her name. But, um, I don't know, you do know what I think it was? I'm normally the guy that gets every joke There's something—

Tommy: but that's actually the— is this opposite day? No, no, no, because you're the guy that says I don't get it.

Josh: No, no, no, but I'm the guy that will— if I know that you're doing a joke, if, if she was doing—

Tommy: what, do you need a disclaimer, this is a joke, right?

Josh: No, no. So the thing is that I'm very good with— I'm, I'm— no, but in all honesty, if you, you can joke about anything that's wrong with me and I'm fine with it. Other— I know that we, we have the blip about my weight and stuff, but for the most part—

Tommy: so, so wait, you can joke?

Josh: For the most part, I'm an easygoing guy. And so, there's something, but there is something nice about being offended once in a while. Like, I would— Like, it was so unnecessary, me being offended, but there was just— Anyway, that was good. But very, very busy at the shops. Yeah.

Tommy: We went to a bar on Saturday. It was like 11:50 PM. AM. AM. Well, because It was Jimmy's birthday. Yeah. And he wanted to get a beverage in before we went to lunch.

Josh: How many people?

Tommy: It was just 2 or 3 of us. Jimmy and this other bloke and myself. And we went to this cool bar, found this. It was like no bars are open at that time usually. I love this. It was like it was a cafe at the front and a bar at the back and we went out. But a guy there sort of, he, he had, he had the vibes of you in that. We asked him one question, which was, do you think that photo is real? Because we were having a discussion of like, it's basically like people marching back in Prohibition days and they're holding signs saying, we want beer.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: And he said it. And we wanted to know because I was like, all the font is exactly the same on the sign. How did they get like, if it's that long ago, so long ago, how did you match up all the fonts on the sign to be exactly the same? Like maybe there was a printing press or.

Josh: But it would have been like they look too too good.

Tommy: And so I was just like, I was like, I'm putting my money on fake. And anyway, he said, no, this is a, you know, it's like the people sitting on the beams in New York City eating lunch. It's that sort of like iconic, iconic photo. But somehow next minute he's telling us about Prohibition, and then he's telling us about alcohol and why it's of a certain, like, why, um, different proofs of alcohol. Anyway, next minute he's got a fucking shot of Bacardi 151, like a very, very high alcohol drink. A shot of it. He's lighting it on fire and he's making Jimmy's mate put his hand on the shot.

Josh: What for?

Tommy: Because he's trying to show that this drink is a certain way. He's like, and then he's like suctioning and then he makes him shot it. And then next minute he's like, oh yeah, sorry guys, you just get a bit over the top.

Josh: But did he get over the top?

Tommy: He had the shot.

Josh: I think that's nice.

Tommy: Didn't charge him.

Josh: I think that that like—

Tommy: It's great customer service.

Josh: Well, I know, but I definitely did get it. No, but there is something nice about being the, um, the rah-rah, like the, that sort of energy. Of course, just putting on, like, that's why I like about having Kaz here talking about like giving, uh, not that it's, it hasn't been sort of a crazy experience. It's not like going to Disney World. It smells like, it smells like lamb in here because Jess has used the air fryer.

Tommy: I said it smelled like a nursing home.

Josh: I really, I should be sure. You go to, it's just that sort of meat and potato sort of.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've, you know, they've got a good deal on a big heap of lamb. Yes. And the chef is whipping that up.

Josh: But there is something around, it's like when 3D Dill, our intern from Canada, arrived in Australia and I had a car accident before exiting the car park.

Tommy: Or was it a car accident? You just bumped the tyre.

Josh: I, I didn't. I drove into the the gate to leave the side, the side of it. Because, and Bree said she turned around to 3D Dylan, she said, that's what happens when Josh Spees is silly. But there is something.

Tommy: And you, meh, meh.

Josh: There's something about the showmanship that I like. The same thing around, like I was thinking food shows. We've got Fetch now. Watch as many channels as you want. There's a food channel and one of them is there's Man vs. Food.

Tommy: Oh, yeah.

Josh: Where the guy goes and just eats a ridiculous amount of food.

Tommy: Gets paid for it.

Josh: Yes. Yes. It's very similar to sort of—

Tommy: Well, it's sad if you don't get paid for it.

Josh: Yeah. There's like an audience and they have like people clapping and they cut to people saying like, I didn't think he would be able to do it. Like Vox Pops.

Tommy: Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: Could you imagine if that, if we did that just normally?

Tommy: What?

Josh: Just like after we ate, got voxies of people describing. But anyway, he, the guy was talking about, oh, this is this type of mac and cheese. Like every mac and cheese has these different cheeses and this cheese comes from this part of the world.

Tommy: Oh, there's a wanker for everything, isn't there?

Josh: Yeah, but my point is, my point is there's something nice about Being on television where your job is some— A writer has got all this interesting info.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And then your job is just to say it like you know it all to be true.

Tommy: So, you reckon he doesn't do any research?

Josh: No, no. So, he might do research, but you don't know.

Tommy: He's a good talking head.

Josh: Well, yeah. So, for instance, say, for instance, if you— If you talk— So, Kaz got some beautiful pregnancy Tees. Some teas that you can have when you're pregnant. Is that right?

Tommy: Motherhood baby puka. Puka. Puka.

Josh: Puka. The caffeine-free. But so, the interesting thing. So, say if I knew that Kaz was bringing that, I could have Googled medicinal teas for pregnancy and I could have given a great spiel about that reminds me of a tea in China where when people are 7 months pregnant, they'll have this and it helps them with their prenatal diabetes or whatever it's called. And Kaz would be confused about, well, I think it would be, what is going on?

Tommy: How do you know this? But there's, I feel like there's, um, think about the people in the world that are obscurely knowledgeable, that's not a word, but about certain things. Um, and they just seem like know-it-alls at that point. It could be cool at a party. Well, can I just say I learnt yesterday that my uncle is an archivist, was an archivist. So we were saying archivist. Yeah, it's an archivist.

Josh: Really?

Tommy: My uncle's an archivist.

Josh: Because Jess was, was an archivist.

Tommy: Yeah, I was, uh, didn't even know that.

Josh: What would he archive? What would he look in the archives?

Tommy: He worked at Birth, Deaths and Marriages. That's interesting. Yeah, it was quite high up actually.

Josh: What's he doing now?

Tommy: Um, retired, I think. Yeah, yeah, a few businesses in between. But I just— yeah, Mum mentioned that yesterday.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, I feel like, um, did you say— I saw an article about, um, they're worried about all the archives, the film and TV stuff in Australia.

Tommy: Why?

Josh: We don't have a good system to keep it all, um, safe.

Tommy: What do you mean?

Josh: Like, so this film and stuff will go shit if you don't look after it?

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: And so apparently they're not doing a good job of looking after it all.

Tommy: There's going to be a lot of money spent doing that shit. It's very annoying.

Josh: But surely I feel like that's quite a— if you've only got one of these things, it's good.

Tommy: But dude, we know how annoying hard drives are to keep. I mean, that's their ransomware.

Josh: Did you see about the ransomware in the news?

Tommy: No. So we update— we've, um, we paid our ransom in Bitcoin. And we got our stuff back.

Josh: Big ransomware in the US. So how about this? You think, you think, um, what happened to us, you're like, oh, you know, a couple of gronks not knowing how to look after their shit. There could be some truth in that. But, um, but how about this for some news? Major US pipeline struggles to reopen after ransomware attack.

Tommy: Okay, so pipeline meaning just like a gas pipeline.

Josh: This is from The Australian, uh, came out 2 hours ago. Uh, the US government declared a regional emergency Sunday as the largest fuel pipeline system in the United States remained largely shut down 2 days after a major ransomware attack was detected. Gas prices jumped in the United States on Sunday following the ransomware attack. Wow.

Tommy: So what do you think?

Josh: It was the same vibe as ours, or were they getting charged slightly a little bit different? So they're— but this is what's going to happen, like, when it comes to, uh, warfare. This is how it happens. Um, I was fired up about the, um, you know, the China rocket that was coming down, the debris.

Tommy: Yeah, that was potentially going to hit Australia or New Zealand.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Hit neither.

Josh: So boring. So boring.

Tommy: Um, did they even have footage of it, or didn't even—

Josh: Yeah, no, just pathetic. Where are you?

Tommy: Did you ever light a, um, did you ever empty out a tea bag back in the day, put it there, put it on, on the bench and do what? And light the bottom of it, and the tea bag burns from the bottom up and then gets elevation and lifts and floats, floats up? Wouldn't mind to do that after this.

Josh: You got to worry about embers.

Tommy: Not from a tea bag.

Josh: So, you know, in Thailand they have, you can sort of pay.

Tommy: The Thai tea light.

Josh: Yeah, tea light. So, it's like you can go on a beach or whatever and you pay a few bucks and they'll put a flame in like almost like a, it's not a plastic bag, but.

Tommy: No, I know what you mean.

Josh: It's like a lantern thing and it will go off in the sky.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: But they're very dangerous because they land in people's homes that catch on fire.

Tommy: Have you done it though?

Josh: No, but it did remind me when we were reliving moments for Mother's Day. Oh yeah. Went down a bit of a nostalgic trip.

Tommy: Who was? You were or your mum was?

Josh: I was, but everyone was getting into it.

Tommy: Oh, Josh, don't bring that up.

Josh: Yeah, it was a bit like that. Well, because I showed her the— we found a video last week of mum interrupting me at the end of a video saying, Josh, are you going to straighten your hair? And I said, no. And she said, it's dirty. And we had a good laugh at that.

Tommy: But that wasn't even acting.

Josh: No, no, that was literally like the camera was just still running. I'll show you after this, guys. And she— But she also, when we went to Bali, for some reason. So, my mum's name's Lynn. When we were at a beach in Bali, a woman asked, do you want to get your nails done?. And Mum said, oh no, sorry, I can't today. Maybe another day. Okay. And the lady said, what's your name? And Mum panicked and said Susie. Anyway, the next day, this woman on the beach, Susie, Susie. Like, what's the point of lying about that?

Tommy: Like, you would have forgotten for a second, you know, when you do something like that, you're reminded by the The lie itself when it comes back to nothing.

Josh: Exactly. The other thing that happened—

Tommy: She should get her nails done.

Josh: Yeah, like that's a thing.

Tommy: She had to.

Josh: Yeah, that's a thing, isn't it? The other thing in Bali, so, you know, you have a go-kart, you know, go-karts.

Tommy: As in go-karts?

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: Yeah. Not unique to Bali.

Josh: Yes.

Tommy: But you're saying just in general, there's go-karts in the whole of Bali.

Josh: You know, like the dual go-kart where you can sit in like, you can sort of sit—

Tommy: For 3-year-olds?

Josh: Yes. Yeah.

Tommy: So, when I used to go with my dad, I used to, I couldn't, I wasn't old enough to drive.

Josh: But so, when I was, when I was 8, when we went to Bali, I couldn't get one on my own because they were fast. But how about this? You know how it's got 2 wheels?

Tommy: 4. Oh, 2 steering wheels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh: 2 steering wheels. Yeah, 2 steering wheels. I know what you, yeah. No, 2 steering wheels.

Tommy: Yes.

Josh: One of them is a dummy steering wheel, right?

Tommy: It should be.

Josh: It is, yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Not this car. And so, we were driving and went through the pits because I did a turn.

Tommy: Oh, you little rat.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: That's like the learning to get your licence, the L-plate cars. They have got pedals, they don't have a stick. Yeah. You would love that.

Josh: Yeah. Well, I— There's— Because the feedback between you and Jess is that I sort of provide some assistance when driving.

Tommy: Yeah, you tell me when the light's green, even if I'm looking at it. Yeah, dude. And you know, I'm so thankful for you to tell me.

Josh: It's funny, you know how you get pissed off? Like, I don't— I said to myself, I never get pissed off. Now I was in the car and George says, oh, it's gone green. I nearly fucking lost my shit. Yeah, I'm driving, I can see it's green, George. We were talking. I'm waiting one beat before we go. It's not a race, doesn't matter. Um, anyway, thanks for coming in, Kaz.

Tommy: Yeah, thanks for coming in. Thanks for the, the gifts. Um, I just gotta say, fidget spinner. No, no, I was just gonna say, um, gotta live in Byron because look at that tan.

Josh: It's stunning. It is really, it's actually stunning.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, Bondi, Bondi Glow or something. Well, no, no, that's all real.

Josh: Oh, really? That's a real tan? Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at that. Jesus.

Tommy: Wow. Yeah, I'm only seeing a bit of shoulder here.

Josh: Oh my God, George, do you tan up like that, mate? There's nothing healthy about it, but that looks great. But you look like the pillar of health. Yeah, no, it does look super healthy. Yeah, absolutely. It's a Daily Talk Show. Hi@thedailytalkshow.com if you want to send us an email. Go and visit Kaz at the Book Room. Yeah, in Byron. She doesn't work with the customers, but you might see her stuck in the shelves.

Tommy: There's great coffee there.

Josh: I always put a lid on the coffee cup when you go in as well.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: Um, yeah. All right, enjoy your day, everyone. Bye-bye.