4 Stacey June 1000 Minute Live Stream

Tommy: It's a very low barrier to get into the Gronk Squad.

Josh: That's crazy! We've committed to do the daily talk show for 10 years.

Tommy: Hi guys!

Stacey: Hi guys!

Josh: Put it in the calendar. I'd just like to cheque the temperature in the room. I told you my squeegee story.

Tommy: It is outrageous.

Josh: Come on, let's go. Stacey, Jude!

Tommy: Welcome to @1000.

Stacey: Congratulations, guys.

Josh: Oh, thank you.

Tommy: Thank you. You're, um, you're Your son is the best looking kid in this room.

Stacey: Well, he's the only kid, for fairness.

Josh: Wow. Are you funny about a video of him being online?

Tommy: Oh no, hang on. Who needs a 100x?

Stacey: You need a licence and 7 million processors to drop this off.

Tommy: Who needs 100x on their bit— on their cryptocurrency when we have this many deliveries? I've definitely had my identity stolen today.

Josh: Um, yeah, GB, what is it?

Stacey: Tell me. It's like a doughnut or something.

George: This one is from Derek.

Stacey: Oh, hi, Derek.

George: Scooter Derek, I assume.

Josh: So that's lovely. What's it— unless it's for Scooter.

Tommy: I reckon it's sushi.

Stacey: Am I going to be expected to send something after I leave it? What is it?

Josh: Babybel cheese.

Stacey: How random.

Tommy: Do you like Babybel?

Stacey: I do. And also, it's like not messed with cheese like we're talking about before. We're talking about sparkling water shouldn't have all these weird flavors, I don't think. And I also don't think that cheese should have like chive through it.

Tommy: So you think doughnuts shouldn't be anything other than cinnamon?

Stacey: Oh, jam, you know, your basics. I don't need custard. Are you bagel?

Tommy: You don't like anything other than plain bagel?

Stacey: Look, I'll have a poppy seed if I'm really feeling it.

Tommy: We're finding holes in her theory.

Stacey: It was my theory, so I can't change it according to what I need, you know.

Tommy: All right.

Josh: The waxing is very interesting on those cheeses.

Stacey: It's a bit strange.

Josh: Yeah. Sort of, I had it the other day actually. It's just sort of the whole pull, pulling experience, sort of like you're sort of ripping it off. It's very strange.

Stacey: I kind of like it.

Tommy: It's a bit cathartic. Bodhi likes to just do that bit and then hand the cheese over.

Stacey: Bryn's a bit suss on cheese actually. And I think that's very weird.

Tommy: Well, either. Dairy.

Josh: Maybe he doesn't like dairy.

Stacey: He's not into it. And here we are sold, you know, all this stuff. Like I said to the doctor, what if he doesn't have cow's milk? Will he die? Like, it's seriously like if you don't feed like a little human, you know, that those pictures that you had when you were growing up, like this is where you get your calcium. Your bones are going to break if you fall off the monkey bars if you don't have enough milk. You kind of get these ideas of like, because I don't drink cow's milk.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: And then the doctor's like, no, you just give him yogurt.

Josh: Oh yeah, sure.

Stacey: It's such a business. Yeah, it is such a business.

George: Kefir?

Tommy: That's a new thing.

Josh: What is it?

Tommy: Oh, it's not new.

Stacey: I got that to get rid of JBS.

Tommy: But I don't know what that is. Being what? Grievous bodily harm.

Stacey: Not quite.

Josh: Let me guess.

Stacey: It's a bacteria.

Tommy: Oh, okay.

Josh: Bacterial.

Stacey: Beautiful.

Josh: What sort of bacteria?

Stacey: You can get it when you're pregnant.

Josh: Okay, sure.

Stacey: Well, no, actually we all have it, but it becomes an issue, potential issue when you're pregnant.

Josh: What colour is it?

Stacey: You don't see it.

Josh: Okay.

Stacey: It's internal.

Josh: Okay. Isn't it so?

Tommy: But if you were to put a colour on it, probably.

Stacey: I guess it might be.

Tommy: No, I'm not doing that.

Josh: I'm imagining like a moss, like a moss green for some reason.

Stacey: That's nice. I think that's a nice visual compared to certainly what I was visualizing.

Tommy: How many podcasts did you get to, Stacey June?

Stacey: Oh my God, that's a very good question.

Tommy: With the Thinker Girls.

Josh: You weren't obnoxious enough to count.

Stacey: Oh, sometimes I think it depends which phase we were in. You know, like we had, because we had the original podcast, then the Pod Channel, then we had the Kiss Radio Show, like radio show podcast.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: And then I've had 3 podcasts of my own since.

George: Yeah.

Stacey: So, thousands, thousands. It'd be a fair bit. Yeah. And especially with the radio show, that was like a daily show, and then we'd have a weekend sum up of that. So that's what, 6, 7 shows a week. Yeah, it was a lot.

Josh: What have you done this morning? What have you been up to?

Stacey: I had a lovely long shower. Really? Oh, it was so lovely.

Josh: What's that noise?

Stacey: It's the child.

Tommy: Oh, the microphone.

Stacey: The microphone on.

Tommy: Baby's like, his mum just grabs, goes for the mic.

Stacey: Yeah, I know, but seriously. Oh, here you guys are in the shot.

George: Hello.

Stacey: Yeah, right. Everyone can see.

Josh: Is that not good?

Stacey: No, no, it's funny. I just was, I just didn't realize.

Tommy: Yeah. They're blown away, mate, for someone who's in the business.

Josh: Are you funny about him being out?

Stacey: Yeah.

Josh: Is it okay for his face to be on camera?

Stacey: Yeah, of course.

Tommy: We do reverse. That is cute.

Josh: He's a cutie.

Tommy: Yeah, so this morning, long shower. How do you get away with a long shower when you got a year and a bit old?

Stacey: Exactly. Or your dad steps up, he goes for a run, you tag team. You don't spend a lot of time together, to be honest.

Tommy: You had a day off. He's just like, I was laughing.

Stacey: It's true.

Tommy: You had a day, not a day off, but the Brim was at daycare.

Stacey: How was that?

Tommy: How was that? You spoke to me when you're at a cafe.

Stacey: Couldn't barely hear you. I was trying so hard to hear you because I was so excited to have like a conversation with an old mate.

Tommy: Yeah, but you had a chip, a pep in your step because it sounded like you were at a cafe. Exactly what you're explaining.

Stacey: I think freedom's the word you're looking for.

Josh: Yeah.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: You never knew you wanted to not be able to hear someone on the phone at a cafe.

Stacey: Yeah, I was happy. You know, in another life, I would have been like, look, I'm going to have to call you back because I can't hear a word you're saying. I was like, this is bliss. I don't care if I hear every 7th word, I'll take it right now.

Josh: I want to see you at a concert. Just, yeah, I'm at a concert.

Stacey: I'm going to one tonight.

Josh: She's going from phone calls, like that's when you make your calls. Like, why are you calling now?

George: The accountant.

Stacey: Can you hear me? The accountant's tried me a few times and I'll just call him tonight at whatever the symphony orchestra does house music. Music bomb. Yeah, it'll be unreal, but it'll be unreal for our age, more my age group. And I said to a girlfriend who's single, I said, oh, this is good news. I think there's going to be people there that are in because, you know, when you're— you might be holding this cheese. You're—

Josh: you are looking to take a break.

Stacey: No, no, it's fine. You are looking to go— you're going out to meet people, but by the time you're going out now, it's nightclubs and not necessarily having all of the people that you may want to actually meet. This whole idea of nightclubs for people over 40 or late 30s, do you even want to go?

Josh: Like, but Even if it doesn't exist, like, you don't want to go to nightclubs, do you?

Stacey: No, I don't. But if you're looking to meet someone, it's like, well, it's sometimes it's kind of that idea where you meet someone. So tonight I said, this is like a gig. Bye, guys. They're out.

Josh: Bye.

Stacey: This is a gig that is like for the music we used to listen to, but in kind of a now classical music way.

George: Yeah, yeah.

Stacey: This is it. This is the place. So we're on the hunt tonight. For her.

Tommy: You know that, um, have you seen the Myer Music Bowl? What's happened to it?

Stacey: Well, we're gonna have to just use like a, like, I don't know, start throwing, you know, when you like in the movies where the Hollywood, they throw rocks at the window. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna just have to throw rocks at people.

Josh: Take some little cheese.

Tommy: They're little, um, they're little platforms. Have you seen it, JJ? So there's like a, uh, this is the Myer Music Bowl, up on the grass they've created all these platforms, Josh, that you restricted to your own little area.

Josh: It's like a 2x2. That's cool, like VIP almost.

Stacey: It feels that, but you are not at all because everyone is VIP.

Tommy: So running around, it's fun though.

Stacey: I actually, I think it's the perfect thing for like, I don't need to be that close to someone.

Josh: Yeah, yeah.

Stacey: And I still want to be close to the people I want to be close to. So there you go.

Josh: What's the weather like though tonight?

Stacey: Good question.

Josh: It's probably gonna rain.

Tommy: I can ask Siri if you like. Do you want to know or not?

Stacey: All right, but I'm not sure about Siri. She's come into my life recently in our house, and I'm not too thrilled about it.

Josh: Yeah. So you use it at home?

Stacey: Well, I said to Ben, my husband, I said, we're not having it in the house. I just don't need the extra. We've already got enough. And so then he got one and put it— we have separate bathrooms. He put it in his bathroom because it's like, well, I can do what I want.

Josh: Is he worried about steam ruining it?

Stacey: No, I think he's just happy to have it. So I'll just hear him, Bruno will be in the bath and be like, Siri, what's the weather tonight? Siri, what's the football? What's it like? Just, they just sit in that bathroom and it's like, just do whatever the hell they want. I just feel like I'm the principal and they're rebelling or some shit. So weird.

Tommy: 12 degrees tonight. It doesn't look like it's raining. Take some nice coats.

Josh: Yeah, yeah. Some gloves. Do you own gloves?

Stacey: Oh, well, I did when I lived here permanently. I've just moved back. Well, 6 months I've been back. No, I don't know where they are.

Josh: Are you west side? Where are you?

Stacey: I am.

Josh: West side.

Stacey: Quite surprising.

Josh: West side is best side, people in the west say. Do you like it?

Stacey: I love it. Yeah. I love it. I never ever thought I would live in a west. IW is what it is, but I'm loving it.

Josh: Like spots, what, there's like that nice cinema that I've been to.

Tommy: Oh, that's great. Yeah. Old seats.

Josh: Beautiful.

Stacey: You can sit on the couches.

Tommy: Can you? Yeah.

Stacey: They're like little love seats. Like, so you have a proper couch. Have a glass of wine. It's really, it's very London. Like it's got a nice little village. And since COVID as well, they've really embraced because it's a village environment. They've put so much more effort on the outside. So now, you know, there's beautiful lights and it's actually, it's really quite quaint.

Tommy: Have you been to Science Works?

Stacey: Yeah, I did. I took Brinny there.

Tommy: Recently?

Stacey: Probably a couple of months ago.

Tommy: Worth it?

Stacey: Yeah. Yeah, it was because, well, I wish we had found the toddler section first. So walking through doing all this fancy stuff and he's like, get me the get the fuck out of here. And then we find a room that has PowerPoints at his height that he can touch. That to him is like effing crack.

Josh: Well, Tommy saw Kathy Freeman the other day.

Tommy: Yeah. And is the Kathy Freeman thing still at Science Fest?

Stacey: Yes, that was there since wee wee.

Tommy: I know. And I saw Kathy Freeman probably 3 weeks ago. I said, Kathy, just got a question for you. Did you ever run?

Stacey: What do you mean you saw Kathy Freeman?

Tommy: At an event.

Stacey: What kind of event was she at?

Tommy: It was a Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander conference.

Stacey: Right. Okay. Not to say, but I just can't imagine her at the opening of, you know what I mean? I haven't seen her at those kinds of things.

Tommy: Used to. Different. I think she's got a family. Yeah. Family now lives down the coast. I did read about her, but yeah, I haven't seen her in ages. And then I saw her and I said to her first thing, fuck, this is my opportunity. Cathy, you know, I said, did you ever run against yourself at ScienceWorks?

Stacey: If another Ith asked me that question.

Josh: You reckon she's been asked that?

Stacey: Yes, because I mean, I didn't think there was any other question you were going to ask.

Tommy: It could have been a comment about the documentary. Have you seen her doco? No, it's really good. Really? Dale Wickman edited it. Yeah, really good.

Stacey: Who's Wiki?

Tommy: Wiki?

Josh: Wiki Wickman. Wiki is a friend of ours, filmmaker.

Tommy: Right. Great filmmaker, editor.

Stacey: Yeah, I'm really at that point in my life, which I should have been earlier considering I have worked in the arts forever. But I'm fascinated by that craft of people that I know. Or if you, you know, for example, you've said his name, but just the, I don't know, all of the parts that go into things now, all of a sudden I'm like, who is that? What does he do? How fascinating. I don't know. There's just something about more of the behind the scenes I've become so much more interested in. Do you look at the credits?

Josh: The credits at the end of the movie?

Stacey: I always did that. That's how I used to network though. So I would listen to the people that people would thank at their Logie speeches and ARIA speeches and write down the names.

Josh: And then I would contact them.

Stacey: No, I don't even know how I ended up— I didn't even know that the ACRAs exist. I had no idea what that was.

Josh: Such a— like, that turned me off, um, awards nights.

Stacey: It's a regional affair.

Josh: Yeah, but you also realise that, like, with, like, even like the Podcast Awards, like, we have never entered any of the Podcast Awards just because I've seen just the rah-rah and the bullshit and just the funniness of, like, A great mockumentary would be any sort of even like the— I think it was the— is the Golden Globes coming up? One of those big ones. And I heard a radio ad for it and it's like, you know, imagine all like the hosts, you know, everyone from your favourite movies and like building it all up and even the top Hollywood people. It still feels a bit naff because it was on radio. No, no, no. That it was awards. Like just the idea of an awards. Old school.

Tommy: Old school.

Josh: Right. Yeah.

Tommy: It's funny, isn't it?

Stacey: And now it's so interesting that everyone's So surprised that people are using it as a political thing because it's like, okay, sure, you're going to boycott it, but doesn't really mean that much anymore. Yeah, no one wants to go anyway. No one's watching. You know, there's no— the red carpet is just so ridiculously— it saddens me because I do— I am interested in fashion and design, but it's just shit. It's— it just doesn't really work in today's society. And not the designers per se, but the whole concept, the whole idea behind it. The Grammys are sometimes a bit different just because people have different kind of clear expressions. But I think, yeah, when people say they're going to boycott, it doesn't have as much power as it used to because like, no one's really watching anyway.

Josh: It's the MCs too. I love that. It's always like they'll get someone that's slightly controversial and then be like, don't say that. Like, you hired Ricky Gervais.

Tommy: Yeah.

Stacey: What are you expecting? So good. Yeah. Just anything he does.

Josh: He's very good.

Stacey: Having said that, though, I feel like I truly didn't love him the way I love him through The Office. I know it's going to be controversial, but I— his stuff that he's done recently is where I got a deep love for him. Respect always, but deep love.

Tommy: His Netflix show? That is the highest— I think it's the highest viewed show ever on Netflix.

Stacey: It is unbelievable. I just think it is the best.

Tommy: Well, yeah, his writing is so good because it's emotional, funny, but it's dark.

Stacey: I'm obsessed with— and I talk about this a lot in my work— about relabeling feelings. I just think it's so fascinating because we've just all of a sudden said sad is bad, all these kinds of things. Death is bad because sad is bad. When actually, if you just took off all the labels we put on all of that, then we all just live.

George: Yeah.

Stacey: And we probably live a little bit more harmoniously instead of kind of diving in. I'm not saying sad isn't uncomfortable, but so there's this idea with what he does is with all that dark stuff, he creates this humour around it, which then does exactly that. It kind of takes off these labels of those things that people avoid so greatly. And I find it so refreshing.

Tommy: Yeah, he's— that is the art. He can— the way he communicates, and even his jokes. I love it when he breaks down his jokes that people haven't gotten, and he's just like, the, the reason they haven't got them is because of the depth of them a lot of the time, because people see it at the surface.

Stacey: Yeah, it's funny. And when you go to comedy shows, I think now I definitely— I am, I'm very much into any comedian that has a level of emotional intelligence. You know, I think there's sometimes you've got the surface comedians, or maybe people that are just starting, which is fair enough. I'm sure I sounded very different when I was learning my craft back in the day. But then also, I think it is a people's— it's kind of a— it's like you are watching them and their understanding of the world, even if it's, you know, it's funny and it's scripted. So I definitely know I was watching— I went to a gala kind of one, so there was like a heap of them, and I was like, I wonder why I loved the ones I did. And I think it all comes down to emotional intelligence. You know, like, I'm like, that joke is so surface.

Josh: What do you think of Chris Lilley? He's come back with the new Jamais podcast.

Stacey: Oh yeah.

Josh: Amazing.

Stacey: Is it on? I haven't listened to it.

Josh: Very funny. Like, I thought it was very funny. Very, very funny. But it feels like obviously over the last 10 years it sort of changed.

Tommy: I think he's one who could be seen as or pointed to as people thinking surface level jokes. Really? I think so. Some of the stuff, just the off-the-cuff, because if you didn't get some of the depth of them, that's how you just don't connect with it.

Stacey: But then that, I think then that says the person thinking that it's not deep is probably the person that doesn't have the depth.

Tommy: Yeah.

Stacey: You know what I mean?

Tommy: 100%. But I think it also, his style probably appeals to that audience as well.

Stacey: Which is a bit dangerous. I know what you mean.

George: Yeah.

Tommy: So, there's a blend. So, he's like, he could be called out for something. It's like, that's— But then it's like, no, he's actually layering everything there and he's observing culture right now.

George: Now.

Josh: It's funny because I think the other thing too is he's parodying stuff that's like sort of low sort of, um, level or whatever. And so people see that as lowbrow, where it's actually like, if we only considered things that were, uh, highbrow that was parried, like, you know, created parodies of, if that was the, um, the standard of what was good, then there'd be a whole missing piece of culture that you just wouldn't cover. Like, the The summer high tie reminded me of my school. Like, that was— I did— like, I went to—

Stacey: I mean, who didn't have that drama? Like, it's just fucking hilarious. And I think, you know, someone said to me that very much falls under a very stereo— like, a very typical stereotype. This particular person has experienced a life where they've fallen under that. Well, they're gay, so you know what I mean. And they were the person that said to me, stereotypes exist for a reason.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: You know, like, we can't necessarily live or die by them, but they do exist for a reason. And that is why if you are creating expression or doing things like parodies or, you know, that kind of stuff, it is important. You're right to be able to talk about that shit.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: I mean, George probably has a few words to say about Chris Lilley. He's our comedy specialist.

George: I've been a fan of Chris Lilley since the start. And We Can Be Heroes was my favourite show growing up. I love that show so much.

Tommy: What do you think of his comedy in terms of the depth or just the vibe.

George: Yeah, I think it has depth, but it's definitely on the edge, and it's like there's a bit of stuff that I've, you know, you can't really say that you like.

Stacey: You're a very considered person, aren't you? Like, you straight up, we just turned to you and you just had this massive considered thought.

Tommy: Oh, we train him well. Bloody train.

Stacey: We put him through the wringer.

Josh: That was very impressive.

Stacey: He literally just subtly moved his mic over and just dropped that incredible kind of point.

Tommy: Yeah, all right.

Josh: Well, it's because he's the— he's actually the show archivist. And so, GB, have you, um, can you find something?

Tommy: Yeah, jump in the cupboard.

George: Okay, not right now, sorry, I need a bit of time. Okay, I was just getting the last episode.

Josh: Okay, perfect.

George: But, um, yeah, so I'll be jumping in the, in the cupboard and getting—

Josh: Do you want to just look around for a second?

George: Look around. Okay, one sec. Um, right, all right, I'm in the cupboard now and I'm just going to have a quick, quick look around and see if I can find anything. Nothing's popping out at me just yet, but, uh, I'm going to pop outside and tell the guys, and then I'll come back in about 10 minutes.

Josh: Hey George, I'm actually just here in the cupboard as well. Oh my God, I'm here too.

Stacey: Can I be here? Yeah, it's pretty tight in here, guys.

George: Yeah, go now.

Stacey: It's pretty tight.

Tommy: Who opened the second room?

Stacey: Sorry, but, um, can you move over? It's very cold in here.

Josh: All right, let's go out.

Tommy: That's the cheese. That's the Babybel.

George: Back out of the cupboard. I'll pop in in a bit and find something.

Josh: Okay, perfect. Thank you, JB.

George: But Jermay's podcast, very good. I really like it.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

George: Very funny.

Josh: Yeah. This is what I love about having a podcast is you can do whatever you want and no one can get mad other than Tommy. He'll get over it. No, he used to. Not anymore.

Stacey: Oh, really?

Tommy: Doesn't give a fuck.

Josh: No, no, no, no. He's putting feeling labels on me.

Stacey: But what would you get mad about back in the day? Because I want to know if it's the same thing he would get mad about with me.

Tommy: No, it's— Josh can be very fucking annoying and everyone knows this about him. So just imagine that every day. I think half my job is dealing with that internally, not you externally.

Stacey: Yeah.

Tommy: So maybe that was some of the madness.

Stacey: Yeah, right, right, right, right.

Josh: Maybe just, yeah, not being focused or just like harping on a point.

Stacey: It's funny because I feel like stereotypically, speaking of stereotypes, it may be almost assumed that you would be— I mean, not if you're a listener of the show, because I know I've heard you say that you're— the focus thing, blah, blah, blah, is not something that you necessarily always are able to do as well as you'd like. But it would be that maybe you would be assumed to be the focus one and you would be assumed to be the non. From a stereotype perspective. You know what I mean?

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: Yeah.

Stacey: Because you're kind of a fleety— I don't know, not fleety, but your character is like, I don't know, from a stereotype perspective.

Josh: I get into the nitty-gritty technical shit and all that sort of thing, which has a huge— yeah, which has a level of focus. But the problem is that that same thing, the ability to focus, means that I can't choose what I focus on.

Stacey: Yeah, right.

Josh: So it could be— so for instance, TJ might be wanting to talk about something else, but I'm focused on the other thing. It's like I want to get that, like the reverb thing. Oh my God, it sounds like my marriage. Don't you think, TJ? Like, I feel like the, the reverb thing previously, like, so one thing in the early days I remember I wanted was a soundboard. And TJ said, mate, if you fucking get a soundboard, like, it's just going to get ridiculous.

Tommy: And RØDE bloody built one.

Josh: Yeah, they do want it.

Stacey: Oh, that. Yeah, right.

Josh: And the funny thing is everyone that gets those mixers, you know, the first day they get it because they play the same.

Tommy: Oh yeah.

Josh: And then they get over it.

Stacey: Hang on. So is there like a, you know, when you get those toys is like a toy keyboard and you've got the bass preset. They have one of those, do they?

Josh: So they're all built in. So the same applause, same everything. But, oh wow, you can load them up with your own sticks.

Stacey: Right. Okay.

Josh: But anyway, so I feel like there's a bunch of those, those things. I'm trying to think of the other sort of— there's nothing crazy. Oh, we remember we had a great argument about— I made a joke about wanting to start a pirate radio station. On Easy Street. And we got into a big blowup because TJ said, no one will be able to hear it. But it wasn't like— do you remember that conversation?

Tommy: Was it in real life?

George: Or—

Josh: yeah, it was in real life. No, it was in real life. No, I was like, oh, wouldn't it be fun just to have an FM transmitter that you can only get from these on Easy Street? And so gronks could come in, listen to the show live.

Stacey: That's hilarious.

Josh: And they just park.

Stacey: I dreamt about having You know, when I learned about Nova becoming a radio station, I was like, wow, you can create your own. Like, I remember thinking, wow, there's like, you can get channels like the Dandenongs.

Josh: Like just the idea that they're just spitting.

Stacey: It's wild.

Josh: It's so weird.

Stacey: And it's got so much. These stations have so much power and they've like, do you know what I mean? Like, it's just a bit, it's a bit dumb when you think about it.

George: Yeah.

Stacey: Well, they would have paid from a technology perspective.

Tommy: How much do you think Nova paid for their license? Their radio license, that frequency.

Stacey: You should ring Sam Thompson. Her dad was the one behind it. You know Sam Thompson? She— I think she's at like Crocmeat, like she's at those ones now.

Josh: Yeah, I'm gonna call her now.

Tommy: No, I'm joking.

Stacey: I'm joking.

Tommy: I do. Hi.

Josh: Give me, give me, give me—

Stacey: We can't do a call. We're not, we don't have radio.

Tommy: We could do a call.

George: No, I'm not.

Tommy: No, we don't need to. Um, Stacy's here. Uh, yeah, how much?

Josh: Just do a reset.

Tommy: I was reminding myself Stacy's I'm reminding myself. I don't know where I am. No, I remember that launched. It was lots of branding around that. It was big.

Stacey: So good.

Tommy: Over 100.

Josh: Can I just say, so Olivia, Gronk Olivia, who's listened to all 1,000 episodes.

Stacey: Oh, Olivia.

Josh: She wrote in the chat, talking about the podcast on the podcast used to always piss TJ off, which was—

Stacey: Talking about the, oh, like what we're doing now.

Josh: Do you remember that, JB?

Stacey: Am I out of this camera shot? Because I know that'd piss someone off here.

Josh: Oh yeah, so I haven't been able to— I've been using this shot a lot because this shot is too much headroom.

Tommy: Do you— can you get it better than the wide?

Josh: Can you go higher up? Yeah, but on the, on the seat. Yeah, that's better. That's what you had before.

Stacey: Yeah, I know, but then like this, then you sort of—

Josh: and then go down again.

Tommy: We could put it on something. Um, wait, do you want some books? Here, let me get—

Josh: oh yeah, yeah, we'll get some books. So are you going to go downstairs?

Stacey: Oh, don't do any of that.

Josh: There we go.

Stacey: Thank you.

Josh: That will work better for you.

Stacey: Geez, Barefoot Investor. A few of these. Yeah. Well, you need my book.

Tommy: Look at that.

Stacey: I'm sending you guys.

Josh: Oh yeah. So is it all done?

Stacey: Yeah. Fuck.

George: Yep.

Stacey: Sorry.

Tommy: Sell it for us.

Josh: There we go. Now that's a really nice shot.

Stacey: My hair's really annoying me.

Josh: That looks good.

Tommy: Uh, when did you start writing the book? Have you—

Stacey: I reckon 5 years ago, like including, as you guys would know, notes in phones, you know what I mean? Like that kind of process where I started to write about guys that I would go on dates with, funny storeys that I would obviously share on my radio shows. But then I started to think about what I— for my own development, what I'd learned from it. Because I always felt like I learned something. So then it became, I guess, lessons. I thought it might be a book about those dates, but then it became more about the lessons from those dates. And then the storeys of the dudes fitted into those lessons. Does that make sense?

Josh: Can we talk about one-night stands?

Stacey: Yeah, shit yeah.

Josh: What's your perspective on them? Like, how did you view them in single life?

Stacey: Well, I think, and I speak about this in the book, you're assumed as you become, particularly from my generation, if you you know, were snacking on Sex and the City era, it's something you do, you know, it doesn't— you don't think about whether you want to do it or not. It's just a part of all of a sudden being a fabulous, empowered single woman. I can't talk, you know, about anyone else's experience, but I feel like it was one of those things that you definitely wanted to try, and then you tried a few times, like, this is absolutely not what it's cracked up to be.

Josh: And so do you think that the— because I get that sort of Sex and the City vibe where it's got that empowering idea behind it. Then there's the shallowness that connects to it. Like, what do you think is the, the balance in regards to— like, do you think it's a rite of passage that everyone should give it a go, or do you think that it's over?

Stacey: Well, I mean, if you do want to have sex, like, you— if you're single, you're gonna have to have sex somewhere. And that may not— it's very— it's a real fine line. I know if anyone that's listening or watching is single, there's this fine line between, you know, getting into some form of faux relationship and finding meaning in one-night stand, or, you know, very casual relationships. It's very tricky.

Josh: Is that more toxic than potentially having the faux relationship with someone like a fuck buddy than having a one-night stand?

Stacey: A one-night stand? Oh, what do you mean?

Josh: So for instance, having a mate that you're not dating. Yeah, uh, but you're having sex with with a bunch.

Stacey: Yeah.

Josh: With the idea that you know that that's not going anywhere.

Stacey: Yeah.

Josh: Compared to a one-night stand where it's like at least like the option—

Stacey: like the options there, it's all about consent, right? So if the other person's aware that this is a no, not going anywhere situation, then you've found the jackpot.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: But mostly, mostly someone is going to crack first. I— this doesn't work for me, I've fallen deeper. And then that conversation is very hard when you've already had a conversation about how casual it is.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: It's— it gets a bit sticky. For me, I had a lot of casual. Well, I shouldn't say a lot like that because it's automatically assumed, but I definitely— I mean, I was single for almost 6 years, so it was over a period of time where it wouldn't be like I would— I definitely wasn't necessarily a hunter like those people, but if it came up, I wouldn't say no. And then it came to a point, by the way, you know, though, like, I don't know how it works, but like often you would go out in groups of girls and there would be someone that's there hanging out finding the— that, well, in our case, everyone I was hanging out with was straight, with men. Yeah. So you'd always have— you'd be having drinks, but there'd be be a particular person that might just be constantly looking around the room, you know. And I guess that would be a hunter to some degree. So I never really— obviously there'd be times where you'd be like, oh my God, you know, I want to go have some fun. But I would not. Yeah, that wasn't really my jam.

Josh: So what's the hunter seeking? Do you think that they are just seeking sex, or do you think that they're seeking something else?

Stacey: Well, this is the interesting part, going back to this, if you'd back one-night stands or whatever, I think a lot of us aren't even aware or asking ourselves the question of whether we enjoy them or not. It's almost like, I've got to do that, a, because then I'll feel somewhat, um, acknowledged and have some affection. I think a lot of it's not about sex, but then when you make it about sex, you're kind of like, we've never really asked ourselves, why are we having casual sex if we're not actually finding it pleasurable? Because that's the thing, particularly for—

Tommy: again, I speak for like more depth than the pleasure, because there is— you could— it can be, uh, pleasuresome even if you're not enjoying the—

Stacey: that's a very— I feel like that's a very male perspective, because I think for a lot of women, not all, but a lot of women have to have some form of connection to some degree to climax, or to— and that's not everybody, but a lot of people do have to have some form of connection to be pleasured, if that makes sense. Not everyone, but a lot.

Tommy: It's like, fuck, I've done the wrong thing again. Like, I know that vibe of, again, but it's like you're doing something that has some level of appeal at some level is what you're saying.

Stacey: So yeah, there's connection regardless of whether you might have got there or not got there. And I mean, I often did it just because it was funny and fun and I felt comfortable with this particular person. And had a good time with them. So then sometimes you don't want the night to end because you're going home by yourself. You might as well go home with them. And very, very rarely are you going home where there's not an expectation of sex. I got to a point where I would say that and still go back to people's houses.

Tommy: Cuppa, just have a cuppa.

Stacey: Yeah, or just a cuddle, a few baby bells. And I was very surprised at the response. A lot of the time I thought it would be almost like I was putting— not in a dangerous situation, but I was always giving the wrong messages, whereas I'd say, I'm not— because so many girls will say, I'm not having sex, I'm not having sex, and then go home and it will be different.

Tommy: I once went home with a woman, and she was a woman because I was quite young and she was probably mid-30s, and which is where we're at now. So yeah, I feel old. Um, but I went home to her one-bedroom place and I saw a photo from her wedding day. She's got divorced not that long ago. And, um, and I woke up and she was just spooning and cuddling me. Like, where am I? But we didn't have sex. That was just one of those examples of, yeah, gone home, just cuddled.

Stacey: I think I assumed that it would be an— that would be unappealing to the dudes I'd go home with, and it wasn't as much as I thought. People are actually just looking often for that connection or that kind of comfort. The sex part's kind of been put in there as a part of what we're somehow supposed to do, and that's why it brought it back to Sex and the City. There's like this Sex and the City, right? Like it was about a lot of other things, but it did very much play into this. Sex is involved in all of those other things.

Josh: If it was Intimacy and the City.

Tommy: Cuddles and the City.

George: Yeah.

Josh: Like, what do you think?

Stacey: Intimacy can be sex.

Josh: Yeah. But that's where I wonder what would the difference be? Because like TJ and I have spoken about this on the show before, different levels of intimacy. So, for some people, they find kissing more intimate than sex. What have you learned about people's— like, I almost see intimacy like a, um, like the food pyramid, you know, like in different layers. Yeah, what have you learned through your, uh—

Stacey: well, writing the book from a single girl perspective or single woman perspective, I think I had to learn and experiment and explore those types of things, have relationships like that were faux relationships, or have things, have infatuation relationships, have sex with people that I didn't want to have sex with, people that I did, to figure out that for me, casual sex was never going to really give me the pleasure that I wanted.

Josh: When are you having sex with someone that you don't want to?

Stacey: I don't know if you know at the time you don't want to. I mean, look, that's called assault.

Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I've done it plenty of times.

Josh: It's consensual sex, but you didn't actually—

Tommy: No, so here's the thing.

Stacey: I see what you're doing.

Josh: It's like me with M&Ms. I don't fucking need the M&Ms, but I'll eat them. I consented to eating them. Eating the M&Ms.

Stacey: I see what you mean. It's kind of like that same thing where I would go home. Okay, I get it. You'd go home and you would probably not say, I'll just do it, I'm consenting to it, and I'm gonna— I've made that decision too, but maybe I would have preferred not to.

George: Yeah, yeah.

Stacey: It's almost like I didn't at the time have that idea that that was an option.

Josh: Yeah.

Stacey: So it wasn't necessarily a conscious thought. Now looking back in hindsight, I can see, of course, you have the option, and no one in that scenario made me do anything.

Josh: Maybe habitual. As well.

Stacey: But there's a very much habitual but also societal, like there's this storyline and narrative going underneath about single life, single life for women, sex life for women. There's a lot of stuff that we are fed that we have never really been taught to question, which is what the book goes in a lot. The whole book is about wiping your slate clean, pissing off your family narrative and what you learned from them, pissing off society's narrative, and then exploring your life to figure out what the fuck you actually want.. And if that's married with kids, great. If that's never dating again, that's great, whatever. But it's about not doing it because you learned it subconsciously from somewhere else, which makes me feel so sick. I'm so passionate about this because I want people to be like, I don't know, in control of their own lives, not kind of musing around just doing things because they learned it somewhere and don't even know where.

Tommy: Yeah, it's Sex and the City. Well, think about how many episodes if you've watched that.

Stacey: And I love it.

Tommy: Yeah, but there's a lot of bad behaviour in a lot of these shows. But that's like—

Stacey: What do you mean by bad behavior?

Tommy: Bad behaviour that might—

Stacey: Story, like, yeah.

Tommy: Ways of living that wouldn't suit somebody. It's like incongruent with really who they feel like they are. Like meeting somebody, having sex with somebody when you didn't really want to, but you're just like, yeah, there is something I'm meant to do. That's a feeling internally of doing something that I will get some pleasure out of, but very incongruent because I'm thinking in my head, we shouldn't be here. Like, I should just fucking go.

Stacey: There's a glorifying of it. Yeah, totally. And I also think there is is some form of like expectation that seems to be, um, I don't know, that was just in my mind or in my, um, understanding of how that those rules worked. Which is why these conversations around consent are so ginormous right now, because younger generations, particularly young girls, are coming in saying, I don't want to do that.

Josh: Yeah, it's funny, the empowerment sort of narrative and you mentioned like climaxing, do you think that there's an element there where it's like that could even be too much of a focus? So for women, the pressure is, it's like, you know, the, that empowerment message, it's all about like you should get off too and all that sort of thing. Like, I can imagine there's a bunch of women who it's like that don't resonate with that, that might feel the pressure based on that Sex and the City narrative, and they just don't have that sort drive or interest.

Stacey: Yeah, and there's a good chance if you are already coming from that place that the chances are there's no way you're going to be able to gain that pleasure from those situations, you know. So it's like, um, it's really unhealthy, I think. And I think you're right about the climax thing too. The what you can do and how you can explore looks a gazillion different ways. But again, where are these ways? In my book, uh, Kinks.

Josh: Uh, I want to talk about kinks.

Stacey: Uh, that's not— that's not in the book. I can only talk about my experience.

Tommy: Yeah, next edition.

Josh: Thinking about—

Stacey: that's the couple edition.

Josh: Yeah, thinking, thinking about, uh, like, you know, if you've had a few sexual partners, like, what is the— what have you found fascinating about the individual sexual experience of each individual person in regards to like those kinks? Or like, has there been any learnings that you've gained around— I'm treating you like you're a sexologist.

Stacey: But yeah, I'm definitely not.

Tommy: Uh, are you not, Nikki?

Stacey: I've seen Sexologist though, because I find it all very fascinating.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, yeah. Have you learned anything about just that sort of sexual experience based on seeing what different people's kinks are or what they're like?

Stacey: Two things. I think it's very likely you're going to be shown kinks if the person that has the kinks detects that you're into kinks, which I, I haven't really explored too much of that. So I don't think that many people will always What's a kink? Showing me. Well, I don't know.

Josh: So, a kink like, so, uh, sexual position, like how—

Stacey: That's not a kink.

Tommy: No, well, getting strangled while you're having sex is strong.

Stacey: He's like hanging from the roof. So maybe, okay, so I've thought a few kinks now.

Josh: Yeah, all right, so I'm using— I'm probably using the wrong definition then. So yeah, what I mean is sexual, like, preferences. So it's like, okay, I like very different—

Tommy: One involves a lot of leather. And, um, what do Is you the definition of barking like a seal?

Stacey: No, kink's just something probably quite specific. A kink, wouldn't it be? A sexual kink.

Tommy: Sexual kink would usually refer—

Josh: when I think—

Stacey: yeah, anyone watching that can kind of—

Josh: yeah, I can look up kink here.

Tommy: Sexual kink, meaning kink is defined as consensual non-traditional sexual, non-consensual, okay, and intimate behaviors. Yeah, what I'm talking about is sadomasochism. What is it?

Josh: Uh, sex position, you know, doggy style versus missionary or shit like that. Is there any— anything that you've gained, uh, that you found interesting about the psychology of that? Or how I think about how people communicate and how shit people are at communicating. I can just imagine a one-night stand, that can— that shit communication continuing where it's like they're not clear on what they actually want.

Stacey: Not shit, just none. Yeah, that's it. Like, there's, there's none. There's pretty much none. I mean, that's again my experience. I think things are different as well. I've been— haven't been single, I 3 or 4 years now, but things are moving quickly. People are having more conversations about this. Um, but I, from my experience, there was very little communication had at all. Consensual, non-consensual, um, under the influence, not under the influence, being together for someone for a couple of months to a one-night stand. It just doesn't exist in the bedroom. And some, to some degree, with a lot of couples it doesn't too. Like, there is zero communication about what you actually desire, what you fantasise over, um, in most, I would imagine, sexual scenarios. I really do.

Josh: It is—

Stacey: people are fucking scared. Sorry, I swear.

Josh: No, you're fine.

Stacey: Um, I think everyone's scared of— it's just the most level, I guess, or what people feel can be the most form of vulnerability. And that's according to Brené Very scary.

Josh: Love Brunei. The farting in front of your partner. Yeah. Yeah.

Stacey: Oh, I'm such a non-farter. And then—

Josh: It happens. You get gas. I actually need a wee. So, if you guys want to— Yeah.

Stacey: Where do I end? Do I just stay here until you tell me to go?

Tommy: We're actually going to finish up the stream in a few minutes because I don't— We've gone over.

Josh: Yeah.

Tommy: But is there one thing we want to play?

Josh: So, the thing with the stream, everyone, is we're— So, we're doing 1,000 minutes, but we're just breaking it up so that we can make sure that it stays onto YouTube.

Tommy: Yeah.

Josh: So, uh, GB, yeah, let's, uh, let's go to you, mate. Can you tell us, uh, what you found in the archives?

George: Yeah, I found this in the archives, um, this— well, I mean, I mean, I'm in the building, I'm in the toilet, um, and Josh might have a bit more to say on this, so I'm going to go out and tell them about it now. Great. All right guys, I'm back. So this is just on like the, the sex thing.

Stacey: Yeah, okay, you move quickly. I must say.

George: I move quickly.

Stacey: Yeah, you're almost like— what's those things that are in ninja? Yeah, you're like a ninja.

George: Yeah, yeah, thank you.

Josh: He's got to work quick.

George: Um, this is sort of Josh's, I don't know, kink. I don't know, maybe not.

Josh: Okay, here we go. Uh, type in saliva. Do you know how to spell that word? How do you spell it?

Stacey: S-A-L-I-V-A.

Tommy: Oh, just thinking about that word and you makes me feel sick.

Josh: So, geeks tend to have more saliva.

Tommy: But what determines a geek?

Josh: A good, a good kisser. Like, the, the quality of a kiss normally is related to the level of saliva.

Tommy: I disagree.

Josh: The more saliva, the better.

Tommy: That's fucking disgusting. Kissing is fucking disgusting.

Josh: Do you like kissing?

Tommy: I love kissing, but it's disgusting. No, but I'm saying, but think about it. Exchanging saliva. Like, when you think about yourself kissing a rando, like, and you think about if you just saw someone on the street, right, and you just go kissing them, like, if you're going down on someone's worse. Yeah, I mean, if I'm not saying it's not, that's like, they are all really fucking gross things when you think about them. The difference is when you're feeling it and you're attracted and it's lovely, it's it becomes super nice. And when you're in the moment of kissing, so you're just loving or you don't? Yeah, but what I'm saying is it's like saying my hand— look at the fucking hand. I had a moment once when I was looking at my hand, I was like, this is so—

Josh: I feel like Tommy's revealed that he doesn't like kissing. How weird.

Tommy: Intimacy issues in general?

George: No, no, I don't like kissing.

Tommy: Food issues? Where's my fucking balls? Where's my balls?

Josh: Where are your balls?

Tommy: I don't know.

Josh: I wouldn't kiss them though. All right, very good. Good, good, uh, pick. Do you guys want to deconstruct that while I— actually, we can feature that, uh, at the end of the stream. Thank you.

Tommy: Do you know what I mean about the, the, like, a rant? Think about kissing Josh.

Josh: Rude.

Stacey: I don't feel—

Josh: thank you.

Tommy: I don't know if a random spat in your mouth as you're walking past it—

Stacey: well, because that's the same as kissing. No, but what I'm saying is it's called oxytocin, right? So, it changes it completely. I understand what you're saying, but you can't. They're different things. You cannot put them as the same thing.

Josh: I love that. Yeah. You say a random person on Victoria Street spitting in Stacey's mouth is like kissing me.

Stacey: It's basically what you compare it to.

Josh: It's very rude. Thank you, Stace, for coming on the podcast. Episode 1000.

Stacey: Congratulations, fellas.

Tommy: How do we find the stream if you want to come back on?

Josh: You just go to YouTube.com/australiaboss. Www.reddit.com/thedailytalkshow. We'll end this one and get straight back into it.