#085 – Guilty/

0:01
It's a daily talk show. I'm Josh Johnson. I'm Tommy jacket. It's Episode 85. TJ you're excited because you got chocolate in well to give people context This is coming out Monday but we're pre recording something we don't do that often it's it's more of a safety precaution because

0:20
actually I'm not even going bush I'm going desert yeah I'm I'm flying from Melbourne to Brisbane which is like two hours itself has been is not desert no but I gotta get on a little plane and fly like two and a half hours 1500 kilometers I think it is to a place called long reach which is big fucking long reaches in 115 hundred it's a long way away and supposedly its weight conscious was founded interesting because this is what the so you're filming a project for a guy who happens to have a massive farm Yeah What does he actually farm these family have been farming Mike sorry I forgot to mention I have to drive two hours once I get into long rich back to this ranch. Surely the plane can just like drop you off you think at that point. So so you're doing a video project three Yeah, business is being co might. I love this. I love connecting with people and making movies and hearing stories. I've found out about this two days ago from today and flight scope booked and I'm flying out Monday. What is the Is there any specific Russia you just like? Let's act on it. Well,

1:33
I kind of just gave them some dates. I push for like a bit further with you know, like a following week after that. I was like I'm actually frame Monday right? I've got to shoot back in Melbourne on Friday. So fuck it. Let's do it gonna be exhausted. But it's gonna be amazing. It's Yeah. And so anyway, we test it out today. I gave him a coal Rupert His name is for fun or he's not even found like is it from a farming family? family? family lives in seed leads on a farm oh he doesn't even fucking lead Oh no. No So the story that we're telling is about where he grew up and from what I know about it he for 12 years of his life did Primary School over radio yeah that's sick how cool

2:17
is that they still do that do we know

2:21
you're gonna be probably not well maybe with the using the lack of internet that we had when I tested with Rupert today so I tested Skype with him and it was a fucking struggle he said I've got MTN satellite Mm hmm. So it's not it's not it's like probably goes to a town where it can get to and then they said a lot. The Internet So what was the could you even connected always yeah we connected but it was very weak. So point being we're going to try and do the daily talk show live from meta Tambra. I think it's called. I probably butchered that. Which is the town where he reaches where you go for long reaches where the airport. It's a two hour drive is my Tambra. I think I'll get it right by the time I get back. This is such a fun project man

3:07
it's so good this is why we do this is why I do what I do which is like

3:13
it's totally right if I can well

3:15
we travel like we want to be able to travel tell stories meet interesting people have an excuse to ask questions. Yeah, be like I'm a year we need a shot of you on the tractor just if I can get them on the tractor you know say shit I'm going to be the on a to get up in that lot plan or that helicopter. See, we need to go you know, he was telling me I spoke to him on the phone. And he's like, dude, I'm up on the water silo because there's been a 4g up here so

3:44
I just love that picture like that. Such a Yeah, you know, I'm picturing like, just Korean aware, cool silhouette, red sun going down the blue sky just getting electrified by the low light. If you get enough hard drives and stuff, what are you doing

3:59
anything at a time actually tied to you can borrow one of mine if you want. Because I'd say I can have at least backup every single like, I feel like this is the type of project we're just go above and beyond in regards to backing up. Yeah,

4:14
I've got heaps of like those. When I transition to the big ride drive. I have so many of those small hard drives, which I'm not using. So maybe you could use them. But um, you're just taught there's one

4:26
thing Sorry, just one feeling around this travel stuff like, and I kind of because it's all kind of really happened fast booking these flights and getting out of here. I don't I'm not just as I can't just be a selfish fracking single dude anymore. Yeah. And I had this fucking overwhelming feeling of guilt. And I think it felt like guilt and i and i was about leaving me with Bodie to have to take him to daycare every morning, get yourself to work, and then get his you guys like, obviously rely on each other heavily to get all those things done. Gotta do

5:00
team effort. So you wake up, or what is a typical day for you

5:06
wake up and bodies crying like 6am? Probably. Yeah. So it's, it's funny. Sometimes he sleeps and then wakes up really happy. But usually, if he hasn't had enough sleep, he's just a bit spooky. And then he wants us to go in and get him into our guy and grab him and get him ready. And I take me in body to daycare. Like,

5:27
I mean, I get attacked, or you're both in the car. And so what time is he going to be at daycare work to be

5:33
there from seven. Okay. And so we get him there. Maybe 730? 65.

5:38
We were either way down. So I've

5:41
got there. early ones I felt. Yeah, I

5:43
felt like an ass. Oh. So 730 is normally the jam. How many kids in normal? How many kids in total of their throughout the whole day?

5:52
Oh, man. This I think down in his area. Because he's up into, you know, up into one and a half. I think it is. There's like, probably 10 or 11, I think per square meter. No, that's a deal. Dude. You can only have a certain amount of kids per square meter. Yeah, it's a it's a daycare thing. Yeah, that makes sense. And I know that because I worked. I made a video for a daycare. That's right. So yeah,

6:16
sure. We get the square meter. Rich. Ryan dropping off. Take me to work. I go into work. Amy's got to start work. At what time she starts

6:22
at 830. I start whenever I want. So you'll

6:27
probably drop her off sometimes. Eight o'clock. Hmm. Sometimes quarter to 888. 25

6:33
now. Never. Never like she gets up early. Okay. She's getting your money's worth with her. Yeah,

6:38
she stuffer. As you will not suffer and business. You got a bit of a routine where she'll make yourself some toast or door that sort of thing.

6:46
I've got a coffee machine at her business, like a legit Italian style fucking for things that you can

6:55
they make about 100, they go through 10 kilos of coffee a week. Like this is like a cafe is 100 employees. And they make it that I feel like getting 100 employees all looking after a coffee machine would be a cluster fuck. It would be breaking down over time. What broke down

7:11
the other day? And she said, Everyone freaked. Yeah. Because everyone saving so you know, people at some people having three four coffee coffees die. They cafe coffee. So that's a $4 coffee. You know. So you met you having 12 bucks? Yeah. worth the cost the same box with a coffee day. And so like,

7:27
what did they do? They just like long blacks. They could do last days if they wanted. I can do over frothing. Have you been in a recent? Yeah.

7:34
So we

7:35
got because I dropped Bodie off early, and we got stairs and she makes me coffee. Sometimes she's getting full cycle. I'm very used to work at Suzanne group. And she would get the bananas and on a Friday should look at the fruit and like, well, this is going to go away. So might as Take, take a few bananas. Hi, Amy. Does the fruit order. Yeah. And, and yeah,

7:54
there's loads of fruit, you know? Yeah, I remember why stage in business. Yeah, it's

8:02
myki. That should away. So yeah,

8:03
I dropped them off. And then I hadn't to work and then I pick him up became me up at five. Five. Sorry, I pick me up at 530 pick up. Bodie. And we go, what happens if he got so the other day when we were doing filming for the covering the federal budget you had to be at my place at five? What do you do? What did you do on that case? Amy has to pick up birdie and take him on the tram and go home. So she walks walks to the tram stop walks to bodies' daycare, which is 500 meters from her work gets boating goes on to the tram and then goes you know it gets to Luna Park and singular and then walked other be fun though it

8:40
but if it's it's fashion or

8:42
whether the mind Yeah. So does she have to take a pram that's the annoying been

8:46
sometimes a prayer a little this the you know the thing you want? Yeah. Nobody on the front of you? What was that video called Bodie, my son, my son's new father. yesterday. My Sunday dad for die. Oh, my YouTube channel. But I felt this guilt of you know, having to put this on me. Because it's the first time I've gone away for more than two days. Oh, one not, you know, two days. Why not?

9:13
So you actually you accepted the job and then said, Okay, now we're going to have the conversation. I think

9:18
he goes through I've got a filter is this. And I said to the start of the CIA. My, my word or my idea. What

9:26
is it? What you told me about on word of the year, which is a Jason Fox, Dr. Jason Fox, who's a friend of mine. We're going to have him on the podcast for organizational psychologist. real fucking interesting, dude. Anyway, so he Yeah, he talks about having a word which is sort of encompasses your year and your focus. What was your worth? I am break the rules. Two words. Yeah. family first. Okay. Well, that's also a very conservative political party. So let's just say

9:58
okay, family family. First, I think I wanted the first in there because I want it to be the first consideration. Yeah, when making decision and that is my family. What? And the daily talk show has become family as well. Yeah, yeah,

10:11
I extend the family. Yeah, they like family,

10:16
people at the pub by their life back with him. Well, yeah,

10:18
I mean, yeah. And so this is, so I thought about that is this, it's a financially good decision for me to do it. You know, there is a sacrifice of not being there. And psychologically,

10:29
I think it's good for you to as well. Yeah, it's like stretching you creatively. Because I think when you put your family first, sometimes that means putting

10:40
your ambition first for a short period of time to be able to, to help the family financially. But also just to like, move forward and doing stuff. Yeah.

10:49
And I kind of

10:52
grappled with the concept

10:55
for a moment where of this sort of guilt and then you know, rationalizing it with, you know, the family first thing and it being a good decision. But then I was thinking about, like, people who, you know,

11:10
without judging them are, why on business a lot. Yeah. And having young families I'm thinking, you know, is this feeling getting in the way of potential success, like, I can't let it get the better of me, but I just, I just look at, like, if you get on a flight from Melbourne at 6am on a weekday, yeah, you look at the people, you know, have them coming back at 6am, 6pm

11:36
that night. It's a very, like, business driven, career driven person. And some of them probably have families. And that's a decision that they're making, whether they've consciously made the decision to, you know, not be with their family, or they've thought about it as much as I have. Maybe they don't, yeah, but I

11:52
think about, it's important for me to be a good dad. And that's one of those elements. Well, I mean, and I think that, you know, people see fatherhood in different ways and what being a good dad means. Some people, because of their upbringing thinks that being a good dad is being at work all the time, and working hard and providing for the family. I think that that's probably archaic and in something that's shifting because, you know, there's emotional sustenance and being there for kids and, and also this shift in the idea that, you know, that the mom should be doing all of this work and what sort of thing what I mean, was that, you know,

12:39
what's your what's your view, I feel like you always surprised me with the views because sometimes you can be quite liberal and open and sort of, you know a bit then you can also have your little conservatives you know, strikes here and there what is the take on

12:58
you know, providing for family and things like that. Yeah, I mean,

13:02
I've been kind of going through some feelings of not being able to provide like that's affecting feel like that's an overwhelming feeling, if you will, like fact we're low on money yeah. And like we've I've got you know, I'm, I've been putting in sacrifices and, you know, taking a hit financially because I'm trying this bigger thing. But it is so fucking demoralizing, feeling like, you can't support

13:30
Westpac don't consider how many podcast episode she's done in the bank balance. Fortunately, I know, but

13:36
you know, you and I both playing in this space where it's like, the payoff is big. Yeah, but we don't quite know the payoff just yet, or how we're going to get it. And it's

13:43
even I think, like, relatively speaking, yeah, like, it's not, it's not big, it's not the huge we're not going to be billionaires and not even be millionaires. But I think that the payoff is big in regards to fulfillment, happiness and development. And then hopefully, that also means so, you know, I think that we can there's a financial viability to eventually get to, which is able to do and

14:07
so, you know, I want to avoid that feeling of not being able to provide So, but

14:12
do you think that potentially going into being a parent, what was your view on your role versus Amy's role? Yeah,

14:23
well, if you say, is one more curry driven than the other, whatever that means, whatever you think it means, I probably am more career driven, you know, a clear picture of what isn't that clear, but I'm just a fan. My thing,

14:41
maybe. I mean, he's not so much like, She's got some things that she's hitting towards, and she's becoming more clear about this stuff. Yeah. And,

14:47
and maybe it's like, well, you know, I can, I felt like, and it's probably the wrong thing to do slip into, like, well, I'm providing here, you know, just, I guess you sort of slip into slipping into roles can be easy, because it saying, Okay, well, just like a workplace, it's not like, you know, there's a, there's a nice feeling of, Okay, we're all we all sort of leading this we're all a part of it, role helping making decisions. But, you know, there's, I guess there is also the benefit of having roles and saying, okay, you're looking after this, this, this and this. And, man, it's

15:24
I could I can see the danger of

15:27
having it one too far. One way Yeah, I'm sure there's relationships out there with a guy won't let not want late, but like, wants to be the main provider. And not that he's saying don't fucking work. But you can see the power in and I can see the danger in May going well, I'm the provided here. I mean, you're not fucking pulling your wife. Because that's an easy out, right? That's an easy fucking grab it power. I mean, she's working. She's earning close to what I am. Yeah, I cost what I'm paying myself from own business. Yeah, so she's totally you know, and we like we were switching our relationship into this real team, because we have to, as

16:09
a partnership thing, it's a bit we spoke about, really, in it's a, I think that that may be that is the decision that maybe sometimes is overlooked. Like, if you are sort of thinking about these things in a bigger picture sense. Like, I even think about if brain I have kids, we're not planning on having kids. And one of the reasons is because it's like we were both have been fulfilled right now, within our roles, and within our work and all that sort of thing. If that was something that Bray was like, this is something that I'm really keen on. And, you know, this is where I'm going to find fulfillment, then. Yeah, then naturally, maybe, or maybe that comes from the map. I think it's, I think it's hard maybe with what do you call it? Like, it was just how it all works? Like the mom is giving birth, right? Yeah, she, she's the one that's going to be feeding the baby. So I want to have that would go the other way around weather where, you know, stay at home dads. It's becoming a much more sort of common thing, but there still is the fucking delivery of the thing. Yeah, it's like, there's still the nine months beforehand, there's still all of that. So yeah, yeah,

17:26
it's full on if I had the money, and I had such an easy thing to say, Oh, we had money. If I had the money, I, I would spend a lot of time with body Yeah, and, and I would incorporate what I like to do we make videos and films and incorporate that into our existence. Like, I don't think I would push as hard on generating business as I would on focusing on being you know, with my best friends, it's like, you know, traveling and incorporating all these things. And I know that's just that's blue sky thinking of, we walked into money, I leave and go traveling for a year.

18:04
I think it's worth asking those questions still. Yeah. And then seeing how you can sort of put it into existence like even the thought of us working together, it would be great to like the vision that I even have with what that would potentially look like ease the idea that we're both joint custody of God I look after Bodie. Most I'm a stay at home. No, but I think that it's, it's almost like I like the idea of building an environment that would enable you to be able to do that as well. So it's not like a partnership where it's like fighting, grinding all the time, but actually having to people within a business so that then it takes off some of that pressure. Yeah,

18:47
it's interesting, I think, like, I think it's so complex, the whole

18:52
thing, but I just hope that the people that are working and you know it from the outset is not spending money time with your family. I just hope that they've got their priorities right, as far as knowing that their priorities work. And that's actually the thing that's fulfilling the most, you know, not being the financial side,

19:10
I think that there's, it's a two pronged thing. If you bring someone in to the world, you're no longer thinking about your fulfillment. It's, I think, your responsibility to think of the fulfillment of your children as well, right? And your family as a whole. So it's like yeah,

19:27
you need to think about Amy's fulfillment bodies' fulfillment a minute to think about your like, it's this real fine balance. If any relationship is like considering someone else. Yeah,

19:39
it's huge. It's a huge thing to think outside of yourself. Because it's so simple. Yes. And it's and it's fucking common. And what is it like? It's it's nature to think about yourself first, because you're in your own head.

19:54
Very, very easy. Yeah, yeah, I think that that's I'm in definitely being in the long term really relationship like Brian I like we have built that it's always a joint decision of, Okay, what are we both wanting? And then you know, coming to a compromise that makes sense, and what are we aligned with? What are we and I think the awesome thing is, I think we're both better people because of it because we're able to

20:23
understand like, I think that everything becomes a up for question which I think is a powerful thing so when you're making these choices, you you have to be thoughtful you have to be mindful I think like that mindfulness so you're clearly being mindful saying yes to this job doing all the you know working it all out in your head what was Amy's vibe on it when you get older awesome yeah

20:51
and I think it's come from a place of she I think she knows that I'm thinking that stuff yeah

20:56
well you're being the filter so she doesn't have to yeah

20:59
yeah and so so good I'm gonna have a great time yeah it's gonna be you know

21:03
do you think you're you know What's the hardest part of it do you think for you

21:10
I didn't say anything just had an eye yeah it's it's my element immersive curiosity you know storytelling What

21:19
about from a family point of view? Yeah,

21:21
I'm gonna fucking miss the little man and Amy I haven't experienced that yet might be

21:28
a good break to people talk about that like just having that reset you might come back with a bunch of energy to take over a little bit more than you normally would give me that gives you a sense of

21:42
what's you know what's the seat you take things for granted yeah even like say if I can't get reception whatever it's like fuck man that's so foreign to me Amy and I constantly on text and mean Bodie you know chat on the cell phone

21:56
van Brody's got an app

22:00
today has an app that post photos of him yeah and so you can just stay up to date with him What can I get onto it could get you on to it using the name I need to invite you it's just a family member that you invite

22:15
is any is like your parents or anything I don't think we have man

22:19
I I had a name I didn't even know me just screenshots that all nouns really don't even get it

22:24
well that'd be great maybe pick him up one day the way yes right you can help me out all right

22:33
I'm am I'm fine I want to eat this yeah so

22:37
I it sounded like would create an edit there that's how abrupt you were but no this is same show

22:43
no it was what I mentioned at the start up chocolate

22:46
you still got chocolate chocolate my hand side basically obviously our preferred chocolate of choice here on the daily talk show is a tiger which you can get it a tiger.com delay you amazing chocolate official sponsor an official spot not artificial sponsor and official sponsor and they yeah I hey Tiger is a great because for one it's founded by a good friend of mine scientist I'd pray works there and they all of the all the profit goes to supporting farmers in West Africa basically where I think something like 60% of the world's kick out comes from So anyway,

23:28
change of pace from hi Tiger to you. Sort of classic Cadbury Dairy Milk yeah

23:34
I have slaved driven

23:37
the it actually has a little thing which is a is it kick out or coca I always get confused when to say when to say co re bond I the burbs there was a difference is the difference anyway they they brought out heaps of different flavors lightly in the family blocks so they've taken what would normally be the smaller chocolate you know that you just get in a bar form I and they've turned it into a full fat family block you would have seen they did crunchy years ago and they've come back at that anyway you really really indeed the one that will be clear the chocolate that I normally at sort of your 85% that's true but when we walked into the shops before when I saw it well because I was looking out for this so VCs dairy milk so this 190 grams family block dairy milk packed with Morrow yum dairy milk chocolate with Chuck moat flavored crime crime crime and smooth flowing caramel so anyway

24:39
Morrow I think it's from New Zealand maybe I think that's a New Zealand well what's what's the quick like what some it's like yeah it's like a hot bath but it's a it's in the Favorites Cadbury favorites right the little ones but I got this and I am eating it on that we're going to eat it in a couple of minutes but the reason that I got it and thought that it was enough interest in eating it on the podcast was because as a kid I actually have tomorrow

25:09
I didn't that is a reference that most people won't get but if you listen to this you'll love it so

25:19
much intrigued with no information but the know so I'm Morrow you could only ever get in favorites the small Mar yeah and when I was 11 years old I think 10 or 11 I actually

25:36
I found out that you could get for size king size Morrow bars from New Zealand and my dad's friend was going to New Zealand perfect and he bought back an esky full of King Size Maros it was to the point where I had my huge like Andy draw at home to all the Andes out and that became my Morrow bar draw and night lined them with King Size Maros who we young Pablo Escobar, I

26:09
just I seeing it like

26:12
it was just like and they had so much white to not have one to die and anyway so this is very exciting I saw this Morrow chocolate family block of chocolate and I

26:23
and he turned into that kid that fucking lines these drawers

26:26
right? No But I squealed when i when i because the thing is, I saw it maybe a couple of weeks ago and I didn't get it Why? Because I was trying I'm like I don't really eat this so chocolate anymore I haven't had it in a really long time but anyway

26:41
I tell you what, there's no excuse like having one foot in the cell john that you've got a you've got a podcast and we need to try some fucking chocolate yeah

26:50
well so I was like I'm trying to do two things at once. Guys. I'm trying to open it

26:55
interesting thing Michael your dad's might get in the fucking Hall a ski for there's no chance I would bring back a bunch of garbage for my son's for my for my mate salad I was like maybe one

27:11
she doesn't smell very good I was just tell me what you think it smells like would sign on the count of three ready 123

27:21
you said off this shape I said dog treats yeah I know the doctor I know exactly what you mean it's almost a bit palace and I think what you know the favorites

27:31
I always say when his favorites going Favorite Flavor no it's not even that it's what kind of a person I you and you can see by the chocolate he get out of those favorites and I think if you're a Morrow guy yeah

27:46
you fucking we'd love mark here we go so it by trying it and

27:55
it's good yeah it's um.

27:59
It's fatties chocolate Yeah, and I'm so sorry I can always taste the sugar

28:07
in the

28:10
caramel in there

28:12
contains milk chocolate 49% chocolate flavor

28:19
okay heroin addict Chairman 70% ingredients saying I'll read you the top 10 ingredients on crisis the worst crime milk sugar milk solids vegetable fat became mass account glucose syrup, sweetened condensed milk all my god golden syrup

28:40
invert sugar emulsify as so acidity regulator flavors milk chocolate contains account solids 27% geez It is so sugary every one of those ingredients

28:56
listed excluding sugar those ingredients contain sugar within that

29:02
we just 10 ways to say sugar

29:06
isn't it let's see episode now yeah it's got a good ring to it doesn't mean wise it's a daily talk show everyone I'm because this is pre recorded. We won't have emails But please, please send them to us high fidelity talk show.com and you know what one thing that you can do that will really help ease in iTunes or in iOS. If you're on iPhone. If you on to the podcast app, the official podcast app if you listen on there, or even if you don't, you can go to the daily talk show and you can leave a review and those reviews help us get seen by other people. My house and shut up. Exactly. It's a daily talk show everyone. Hope you have a great Monday. Yeah. And if you've tried the morrow, why don't you tell us what you think maybe we're trying to do more Instagram shooters while we're slowly slowly getting there. We might have another sponsor on the way if you've been following that to everyone say guys.