#012 – A long uncomfortable discussion/
- January 31, 2018
Complex topics can be hard to talk about. We decide to try and go deep with them on today’s show, leading to a longer than usual podcast!
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The Daily talk show
at 12. It is a What are we Wednesday? Wednesday. It is the 31st of January. This is the last day of the month. This is not a paid sponsor. 711 was day to day. And I've got $2 sandwich wins that every Wednesday to drill a sandwich and sushi out at night. How much I want to be eating sushi from 711. Oh yeah. Or sandwiches for that. My sandwiches. Look.
All right. I've actually won the five bucks and I reckon I probably only had
less than a half a dozen sandwiches from those like shops like that in my life. It's just so far on my list. Lovely pret Stuart yeah pressure in the UK not put him in jail or whatever it's it's like a
How would you describe it it's just like a like a 711 type thing but it's a bit sort of like one step above they do like sandwiches I do they really nice brownies and it cheap cheap lunches and when I was there like in London for the Olympics that's all I was like eating was Fred Fred and there's ones in like New York and shit now
there's a million ingredients on the back of the sandwiches so you know like I think they yeah there's shooting them but to box like not bad yeah the anyway when this is not endorsed yeah
but also I don't think sandwiches are as healthy is what people don't you think that when we were kids sandwich was a healthy option. salad sandwich. Yeah,
when it's on white bread, it all sugar and it depends on what's in
its peanut butter and jelly had is being the 31st how do you how do you remember what how many days are in a month? I don't
really calendar do so. There's there's this thing on the knuckles. Yeah, that you can do. But I forget it. I don't think
April, June and November all the rest of 31. And then it's like except that has 28 days on which is where that's where it lives. It's like me going what month is the six month of the year? I have to go January February. March. April, May, June, June are all like what's the fourth? What's the eighth? ninth is my birthday. So it's like these things that I don't store in my head. You learn these little songs which are catchy at school but by the wedding Yeah. But then I've never stored them because I still have to go what month is do said how do you remember like North north south east so he
wait Yes exactly. Or there was like you have to
go through the never eight weeks to get to which is like there's some people and maybe you think I'm Adama no I think that makes sense. Yeah
The main thing about minimalism a bit and what it's made me realize is what do you do when you do have shit that you need to get rid of a you a good seller of second hand like your second hand shit it's time consuming so the before and I know there's a movement around like hustle sell you should make the 20 k yeah
and you can there's a lot of money you can make from selling stuff but you got to be up for damn conversations use Facebook marketplace yeah someone asked me I used it I saw I can't remember what I mean I sold they asked me where where sink Kota was you fucking kidding me you've got Google you're on the internet you could easily look at we're thinking about coming from somewhere selling What did we sell
I cannot remember we've sold like chest of drawers on there I sold it yes this is what it was a cabinet that was a TV cabinet and someone asked me ways Cinco de facto we talk on air about your story about your remote the TV in Sydney and on trial paste say that was silly online yeah I sold a TV that I got it was actually got for my 18th birthday still going strong on my son It was a now it was like a pebble something now that random brand I
can't remember the name of it anyway I sold it and because I was living in Sydney at the time with the TV I left the remote back in Melbourne and so here it is up online this guy comes and buys 20 bucks for a working TV 32 inch LCD and then he's chasing me up for four months after Hey man I just wonder if I can grab that
that ship and that's and that's what that what that's what puts me off selling sheet because it's like hang on there's a yeah there's the the movement around saying no and all that sort of thing like why allow all these people in like it's so in in the nitty gritty isn't it that's what you're gonna be up for if you're going to sell stuff online and breeze done it a few times where she's actually just using air Tasker or something trying to get someone to do a task contact like on the tech What are you doing are just had a guy text about the van he can do it for X amount like it's just ongoing
I was chatting to a wind screen wiper season I like the lions yet the lights What do you call them what would you call that as a profession I can
professional one employed
like it's not the they're not paying shit to be able to. That's for sure. He came over to me any any use like you want. And I was like now and then he squirted some water. And he communities like our doorframe, one for you. And so he starts why it says washing and then he comes around to me and I wind down the window I said how I may hate goodbyes Hall yesterday just talked about the weather as you do. Yeah. I said Well, you're out. He said now it is too hot. But then I said I don't have any money man is like now that's all right. It's all a part of the job. I know where I was going with this. But I was thinking to decide it's not a fucking job. First of all, I appreciate anybody who's trying to exchange something for money yeah so these guys girls that the headline at the lights they do they're actually doing something so like rewarding that I mean versus being say having the cardboard and having a sob story or whatever
they probably mentally a bit more capable if they're in lots to be doing that there's a reason you're sitting on a piece of cardboard yeah there's many reasons yeah but in terms of just people who are trying to make money they they say to themselves I can't get a job but then they'll go and do that so it's like a mini entrepreneur we're the only guy in bond I who you who did quite well I feel like there was I remember you telling me a story about no I told you Viva cool city this ahead of its time documentary show yeah that was just an online show they did a piece on a guy who worked headlight at the lights the heaven Victoria straight yeah
$500 in a day he wants my it's crazy isn't it I was thinking about that being an interesting experiment being like I like the idea of doing shit jobs as a way of getting out of my comfort zone because I think about the reaction that I have with like those types of people are trying being empathetic as possible
but yeah at the same time it's like you You say no and they'll do it anyway or the big is
really big is that yeah I guess the biggest in easily you'll experiences when you go they've worked out that people probably just want to give some money but you know if you go and steal a bunch of lighters we can sell the lighters for a euro ah so they're all trying to sell something up a notepad a pain a lighter and I thought about it's like it's a good in worked it out of a depth of worked out that I need to give some sort of value yes this you exchange going on and that's what the guys that like to doing and that's
what like especially artists or buskers that's what they're doing. It's it's a transaction and saying, I'm going to perform for you and you're going to pay or something like that. But I just this I've got so many old cameras and things that I don't use that I just struggle with letting go of not because not because I need it. And this is where I guess I'm gonna have to work through from a minimalist point of view, but just because it's too fucking hard to get rid of them. Well, I think this is timely throw stuff out. We give it away
we go and not giving away online because people still ask question what happened
with that guy. We had a we did an Ico we put an Ikea shelf up for free and it was missing a screw. And then he was like, following up saying hi. If you got the screw, and then Bri found the screw was I Oh, yeah. Okay. And then trying to an organized like, I wouldn't even do this for myself. Like I wouldn't. Why we Why are we spending so much time on the the I even think about books. Like I went to a stage where I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna get rid of all my books. I don't need books and brain. We're looking at Josh shelf. Right. Brave. They'd be books. Yeah. Bri was pushing back on it saying like, no, they're nice. It's sort of they look like aesthetically, aesthetically, they look great. And they mean something. Blah, blah, blah. You've got fact all in this half. Like, if you're thinking about being a minimalist. You'll have nothing in this house. Yeah,
because you guys have run a tight ship here at my place. Amy's got so much stuff. Yeah, and we're getting rid of it. But it's like, you do accumulate stuff. I just
I love getting rid of stuff. But it's just the process. I think I just want to get way better. It's just things that are like say, I've got like a camera that I bought it I don't know. And usually go for five and a half grand and being like, I don't really want to give it away. I probably can sell it for like 700 bucks. But I also don't want the conversation right. Like, I don't have the chat. I can't find the fucking charger for it. I just don't know charged you know, like you get us stipulate
eBay eBay before I've never sold on eBay. Yeah, it becomes a world like you need to learn about this
looks like I bought all those fucking books. I bought like dozens of the same book and they just still sit at my office because
it just put it like I asked people on social media. How do you want? Do you want a book? So speaking of books, I've got a mate who I recommended the US was the subtle art of not giving a fuck yeah, yeah. The I recommended that he got the audio book. And then his brother bought him the hard copy. Yeah. And I saw him the other day. And he said to me, I said, I he said, I listened to. I've been listening to that book. And my brother bought it for me. I fucking hate it. And he was so passionate about hiding this thing. Yeah, I was thinking this dude is polarized that this right yeah, polarized
on this one thing? He's got so much hype for this one thing. Yeah. What wasn't for the book? Oh, yeah. Sure. The message in it. And, and so my thinking was the second fuck I'm not I don't have anything that I'm that Haiti against. But there's a lot of people that are polarized by topics or Yeah, things there, have you got anything that you're just like, I know, I don't think eight I
this is what I've always struggled with, is I don't necessarily get too political, like none that like I feel and maybe that's my own privilege coming in. But I safety mechanism because you, you know, I just, I just don't like it. I don't, I feel like I don't know enough to be able to have an informed opinion on these things. And
then that's an awareness that you don't know enough. Because I don't think these people the fast
enough, yeah, there's, there is another side I can talking about things and they just like, yeah, you're taking what you've read and you're regurgitating it. But it's, you're not some
like you, you are still the result of what you consume. And you Only you don't have infinite amounts of time to consume everything. You haven't had infinite amounts of time to be able to speak to everyone get every every perspective elite, like be in the White House, juul, that sort of stuff. So like, even even though I think Donald Trump is a bit of a is a twice I also think about it like,
I think about like YouTube communism like, well, he's fucking done it. And you've got like, there is something in that like, everyone can be like, he's fucking down. He's the so that he's president of the United States, the most powerful guy in the world, it beat and so that's, that's the thing. I mean, I don't think that
I don't necessarily put huge amount of respect or white on to people who have money or things like that. I don't think that they're some sort of special breed.
But I think that that is the the interesting thing. So it like, we can look at Donald Trump and say, Okay, well, he's this he's so outrageous. And I'll occasionally if I find something that's just funny that he's done. I'll post about it like him sipping water or something, looking like a goof everything other than the role that he's meant. Yeah, exactly. But finding time, but the thing is that he
he's there, he's polarizing and the system and the system has allowed it, which is fascinating, isn't it? Yeah.
What about Australia? Australia is a good example. Because I made a video for a company I think it was on the year ago. Yeah, that was Australia die. Focus. And in the span of 12 months, this year, I thought about my main man, that video yeah, I thought I would never do that again. And it's and it's been 12 months. This shift is a real focus. Yeah,
on you. Definitely. Like I mean, I'm, I don't know, like from just a little bits of saying what like, NWA and saying that the history it's so fact out what happened to the Aboriginal people and it's it seems like it's very black and white in some regards. And it's also extremely complex but I think that they were you know, what is with what there's no doubting is that there was all this mistreatment and trying to sort of wipe them out and all this fucking gross stuff and I'm I feel like I'm not educated enough to believe anything like so people come out and they would say No, you shouldn't change the date like I haven't heard a good enough argument to state why the date should remain the same and the only thing people will say is we've gone to fracking PC What are we going to do next and I think that that's like the argument for all these things it's like same sex marriage they say that right it's like well if we fucking let we let the guys get married then we're going to be people are going to be able to marry their if I can pets which is just bullshit
but the shift right so I you know five years ago change the date all that sort of thing wasn't even in my mind like Australia Day was a thing to be celebrated and on Australia Day I didn't engage in anything I didn't have a barbecue didn't because I just didn't feel like
yeah I'm not because I am a supporter of being like fucking doing the right thing and it feels just feels like the right thing is to
support the move to make things better so there's
a few things here from my time in radio we were encouraged told whatever it be to have a side to side because when there's a conversation you and I talking if we're both just up in the air about something it makes for a pretty bland conversation yeah
it is no The problem is right It forces dumb fucking people to have a side
exactly yeah and then there's also the people that don't think about it like that they treated and they're on that side yeah
my friends who are in radio who would do breakfast radio or things like that and they'll be talking about things I'm like spoken to Anna you don't care enough about this so just don't play and that's that's a very specific FM space world that you're living in but I think this is what's great about these types of things where we can sort of talk and I'm saying I don't know and i and i i hope that the the things I say on defensive because I realized that like I'm only getting one viewpoint I'm only get like I grew up in the southeast suburbs where you know Australia Day would have been a celebrate I'm sure the school would have done stuff and it would have been a big thing but I gotta say on Australia Day evening when there's the Australia Day celebrations in Sydney and grant Kenya's Do you know Abby Australia Day and doing all that sort of stuff he did
it did feel a bit odd I was like I don't know if I will how much influence has the media outlets had on that do you think like if you were to internalize going you know the headline of yeah the diet needs to change you know newspaper on TV is going to get people thinking and I thought hasn't I haven't consumed I didn't consume any mainstream media
all mainstream media was pro Australia Day as far as I was were the only like Channel Nine and that's even you know like
people who I respect to a journalist you know and they doing Instagram stories about Australia Day and happy Australia Day everyone so maybe we are in a tiny bit of a bubble but at the same time the stuff that I'm wearing Yarra council right, and your council was like the first council to say, we are not recognizing this days now, like, we're not do it like we're
changing direction on on Australia Day.
And so that's a collective decision for a council. Yeah, so there's not an individual behind it. But the people that work there think that this is the best to save face or to show that we're supporting something and saving it's not anything saving faces that the right word because I think that it would I think that implies that you just sort of going like I think, but there's no individual behind it. So it's not one person because they could be 10 people making this decision. Six people don't think it's worth changing and don't think it's worth talking about that we're changing this thing that we're doing, we're not celebrating Yeah, and then the other people that it's more polarizing so they go with the lower well I mean,
this is the thing is I think that it comes down to what is the argument for keeping the date
and I can't think of one I can't think of exactly racing so i i mean a night yeah, so I think that that's that's a big part of it but it's a it's interesting because I've always felt like I didn't want to I saw a knave from catfish did a post about sort of them, it was like a remembrance sort of thing around the Holocaust. And he was talking,
I'm going to do that thing that you were saying, never works out, which is trying to reference something, you know, I tried to read
a book because it takes too long and all that sort of thing. But what he was basically saying is, if you don't, if you don't help minorities, if you don't support, you know, the different things that so say, the feminist movement that's happening, if you're not supporting all of these different things, one day, you'll be the minority and no one will be fucking there. So, he's saying was first they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist, then they came for the trade unionist and I did not speak out because I was not trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews. And I did not speak out because I was not a Jew, then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. And I think that
maybe it's got a selfish connotation, which is like, the only reason that we should be supporting any minorities, because one day we might be fact and need some help, which I think is probably the wrong attitude. But yeah, I just think I rarely, if you look at my social media, I don't fucking post anything. That's to sort of political and I love like, looking at politics, and also thing, but I don't necessarily, like what I enjoy is the
the opposite, like the observation of the so for instance, it's like sport I will I like, I don't necessarily have a team. I like watching a game and saying, okay, and, and seeing how that dynamic goes. And that's what I think that I'm interested in. But
I think that's a cow. Like, is that a cowardly thing to do? I think it's the safest route to play. Is you not having aside Yeah, but I'm not saying but I don't also think that you have to have a side because if you honestly feeling the way you do, which is I don't really have feelings on this. I don't know all the facts. I'd like to know them. But there comes a point where it's like, if you were pushed on something, which one I you are, you
was think it's, I think that's a polarizing question now, because no one knows. Or am I knew a feminist? Do I believe in equal rights for women? Fucking, I thought, Oh, yeah, it's my wife, my mom and say, I've got women close to me. So of course, like the thought of women years ago, not being able to vote what how, like, I'm so glad I wasn't in that time. I feel privileged to be in a time now, where so much shift has happened. It's in this whole feminine movement. Yeah, that if you look into there's some stuff going on that I don't agree with. It's interesting, isn't it? Because, you know, I've bought like topics too big to have an answer, like, yes or no. Yeah, because it doesn't deserve a yes or no answer. Are you famous? Yes or no? Well, you know, it's like saying the gender pay gap. Is it true that women earn it cents to the dollar across men? It's, it's a too big of a complex topic. Yeah,
but I used to say that's true or not, but I think that what we can do, like, I think always default, like what feminism is a bad like, from my understanding, being a feminist is is about equal rights is about female is being seen as, so I think that while old, while people might try and polarize by, you know, through making it about other things, or doing other stuff, like for instance, I'm a, I say myself 100% as a feminist, and then these little things will happen say, with Aziz Ansari, and how all of that stuff played out where he sort of goes on a date with some someone things happen, they get intimate, it's all consensual, and then afterwards, the girl sort of comes out, you know, in an article talking about I didn't really feel comfortable. I was sort of hinting to this or that. And I think that that is a dangerous fucking area that we're playing in. Because I think, but I think at the same time, we need to,
it's so difficult because we need to create a safe space for everyone. And you feel what the energies even just having this conversation about what happens. Yeah,
so you you tiptoeing around which I'm doing because I don't know all the facts, yeah, and if I was to say, I'm not a feminist, imagine that answer to people is, I feel like I need an answer. Now, I think nowadays, like business media is making you because what about the guy that says, I'm not a feminist? And they say, What do you mean? He said, Well, the new wave feminists I don't agree with what they do but I agree with equality within men and women yeah on all levels yeah but I would
label as a feminine so this and I think this is the the thing right it's like yeah, I don't fucking like the left and right like I was having a conversation with a really smart lady scientist she's a she would count herself as being sort of a left sort of left this sort of thing and to be honest this is how fucking dumb I am I didn't even know left and right was it this is only really I've only really started to grasp these things at a very basic level in the last like three years and it was like I couldn't have even told you a year and a half ago so I reckon September of 2016 I couldn't have told you the democrats and Republic say in the US whether they were right or left or what like what all of this means I didn't even I you know going back not that far I thought news was news and obviously we news was true or no news was used as in I didn't realize that there was agendas but in all of this like I understood that there was obviously you when you report your you've got to have a focus and all that sort of thing but I didn't realize that it was same so systemically in you have some people watching conservative, right sort of wing and then left wing. So are you listening? Are you watching Fox News, or you're watching CNN and things like that? All of this stuff? Like, I think that the the worst thing about this is people like me being an over thinker.
I just don't know where like, so maybe you end up in that I'm sort of in the middle. I don't know enough because it's the you confused? Yeah.
Well, I think it's a turbulent time, right? I think that like we even looking at things like North Korea,
yes, yeah, there's a horrible regime happening and all of this stuff, but we don't want to see millions of people die from being in a situation or regime that they can't control. They're stuck in this place. And because we're sort of feeling threatened that we nuke them. I mean, that's, that's a horrendous solution.
I think you it's a pretty safe place to live in where whatever you polarize by ask yourself the question, what is the other side's point of view and just type and just looking at it, hearing it, I think if you're looking at left leaning media, or right leaning, many are in that fact, what they're saying is their side. But there is also this other discussion radio these days. How, how much of discussion Can you have? And it's not a discussion if it's a three minute talk, right? Yeah, because there is another side and some people change their mind in conversations, I could be convinced of something that I'm truly passionate about after a conversation with somebody who's truly passionate about the outside. So it's like, we owe it to ourselves to look, have that middle ground and going, Okay, why? Yeah,
do I need to know a few more things? I think the the one thing that I've always struggled to understand or and I and I reach out to my friends who are in these situations and stuff to better understand, I wonder if, as a dad, you've been able to sort of fucking pissing down now it's a chilling 11am here. And in Melbourne. The things where the guy Josh, is the
having a kid. Yeah. Right. And the impact that has on women in the workplace. Yeah. How have you found? How is Amy found that experience? And do you think? And one of the things I find interesting news companies that have really amazing
what's the company me works for now? great programs and things like that, right? Once you have heard about, yeah, I'll give you $4,000. So if you've been with them for a year, what I find interesting is, it's like
I I'm not necessarily planning on having kids. And I wonder like, how much flexibility one thing a Christian to me. So So my question is, people trying to have it all? Is it is it okay? To say that you have to peak having a career or being a parent, or like, I feel like we're putting so much pressure on people now, to have that amazing career to be able to, like, if you think about it, fact people, we saw someone the other day, one of your friends who it's like, they just settling on a house and they're like, we want to be able to travel the world. It's like, we are living in this paradox. Whereas people are a planning these, they wanting to be a parent, but they wanting to work full time, you need to ask the question to me as a parent, because I can give the side Yeah, so I mean, what's been your what's, what's your experience? How has your experience changed? Do you think that it is okay, and fear to try and have that career and because I think that that ties into that sort of gender piece as well, right, where it's like, how can women develop their career is if I can spending you know, all of these months
on your life completely changes once you've had a kid and there's it's period of maybe three months way the mother in most cases is the sole person that's there that can keep that killer lot. And if Amy wasn't there, and body was born, and I had to do it, there is ways you can feed them, you know, there's plenty ways and of course, you can do it. But I in this case, she was wiped out
and there was no going back to work quickly. She had things come up, and it is this complete shift and it would rattle your mindset. And there's also the case of if you were a recent recordings, right, we talked about like, so I was just talking to you about this earlier. Apparently, I was listening to the minimalists talking about the word priority. And it's only been in the last couple of centuries that the words change to a plural priorities. So priority used to be the first thing the one thing that, you know, work on and now we talk about priorities he rather teaching, you know, the name offense as Ray Ray, assessing the learning the it's all the feminist talks. The No, but the Yeah, so now, we're expected to have multiple priorities. So I guess, you know, is, is, um, how is handling that as a parent to have those different priorities? Because I guess that you've your priority, I guess, can solely be on board in the family. And based on that, you need to work hard to be able to to do that. But do you have any more thoughts on sort of that parenthood? And I think for a lot of women, messaging realization, but it is difficult. Yeah,
it is totally diff is it massively difficult to be that curry like you see the people that are dedicated to the curries and it's what they focus on and all of a sudden your priority becomes a child and keeping it alive and then depends on your priority as a parent Where are you placing your time so for instance, we see there's some kids like we've been to these decades right and these kids that are getting put into daycare at six weeks old Yeah, and for our situation Amy now and I and little bowtie six weeks, I could not think of anything worse than putting my kid into daycare that six weeks and asked going back to doing the thing that we want to connect with our priorities, right. Yeah. And also, I think with this like daycare, and like we have, we got everything out of whack. And we got over it. Like, why, why do we have this desire to do that like a hand but like, it feels like we want me say to me, she said this morning, you know, there's a lot of things that don't come naturally to me as a mother changing nappies and that kind of stuff. She's felt like, there's a disconnect there, that connection, love wise, and caring for somebody that's not her is so natural to her. But she says, there's a lot of things and she thought she would be that mother that she was thinking that she's not. She's, she's the best mom. But there's also stuff where she's like, it's not there for me in that way. Yeah. Like her not being around Bodie, because he's in daycare. She's a better mom. Yeah. And so she gets really interesting.
This is really challenging this emotional bachelor, I think that you're hitting the nail on the head here. Because I think that there's, you know, I've got friends who start businesses or do something, because it's like, if I don't do this, I just have to be the stay at home mom. And I don't want to be that. And I think that that's a very, it's an interesting realization that it doesn't feel like it's spoken about enough. Maybe
just to summarize my thoughts. It's like an exercise program. You can assign one to everybody. Yeah. And also another thing is from not not having kid to having a kid there is shit that goes on within you. That is, so what's the word natural, so instinctual? Yeah, that you don't know what you don't know that feeling. Or you don't know that you even possess that until you have the kid. It's like the woman who thinks she's maternal has a baby. It's the furthest thing from what she thinks she wanted. Yeah. And, and there's some aspects of that for me. For me, I'd never thought about wanting to change a nappy or doing anything, but when I had a kid, I assume this thing. Like I say, my dad, and I look at him as a dad. And I used to think about him working, coming home playing with us. And like how the fact that you have that energy you do find it and that's that's instinctual. That's internal. It's just a switch that goes on and it might not go on for everybody because everyone's different
Where do you think the desire to have a family comes from? From your point of view? I haven't
had this I to have a family I've never been one to just wanted to fuck and then it happened so are you saying we didn't plan as on yeah but he's the best thing that
you planned it in the sense of it's like okay I'm just gonna go off contraception she was on contraception yeah that's okay so you
she wasn't on the pill ever it may be crazy yeah she would agree with that it she couldn't do and I was like for your head please please don't take that and she was what happened what happens when you I mean this is quite common right people yeah yeah so you try a couple of times yeah and my imagine me I wouldn't take appeal Yes Can I can I change
it's a big I mean I feel like we're way out of our depth talking about fucking women's contraception and lots i think but the
ready depth when you saying you expect a woman to take it and I fuckin 100% but if you wouldn't hate yourself How can you exactly
and I think from a health point of view like there does seem to be a lot of risk like if we could if there is a yeah i think that it's gonna be an interesting I feel like the next 2030 years is can be maybe an interesting time like when you know if males if there was a contraception
that males could take then I think I wouldn't take it you wouldn't take it and then I was doing a society's
I don't expect the woman yeah use protection and we don't want that to happen so I know the fucking consequence and I'm having a bad yeah and it wasn't the time that we wanted but whenever when is the right you have
to yeah but the thing exactly there's never a right time for anything but I think that the thing is that you were a Dinger if you really don't want like you in grade three do not do is like an old homemade nepotism the old school like beyond like I never called it a thing like I use dinner is like a bit I bang a bit ironic okay. Like I never said dinner in school I was like I'm guessing what my dad would have called it but the chairman school was your schema schema real date fucking burn a skin as in someone who doesn't use it now a little skin your skin and
what does that mean small like skinny penis I did. I was just I just remember it from primary school. You said just Skinner says the kid with no, though. For broken voice.
I think that the it's um, yeah, all of the shifts interesting there is if you becoming a parent, she is going to change and it's so natural. And it is what it is. So if you're not maternal, like I think about me, if I had the biggest priority shift ever, when you found out or no order had you made the do you make the pile like I could. I'm not one to dwell on the negative something, I assume the positive angle which sometimes is against me, because I don't, I don't feel I don't feel the negatives and go through that which is can be dangerous. So for me, it was like assuming this new position on Okay, this show there's a bit of nerves
but it's like we moved on to the life's going to be different. My mate Simon Taylor. And I can say I can actually say this because he's a there's a primary going at the moment for his comedy show. He had a fling with a chick then he moved to New York and got a message being like hey I'm pregnant you're the dad and turns out that he wasn't a dad but it went along since the day well yeah I think so. But it turns out it was a big plus the fact that he was the how much that affects people is crazy and he
he's doing he's doing this show on it so
I think about relationships that that the flings Yeah, they just like kind of get together and that happens
it is so much pressure yeah it is for a couple like Amy and I we love each other
well you've got that bought like you and I may just like Brian I like we have the you have the by and he's tasting it is it worth like something like sleep with people just because it's a bit crazy or stuff like that like imagine people who sleep with someone just because they're a bit out there and a bit crazy and ends up like the the partner that you're going to live with and have that plenty
plenty of fear apparently kids out there Yeah. And it's okay but it's like it's hard like if you were wanting to like okay I'm going to try and see this through it's like wow, you're up for a lot of challenges because if I mean I have learned what was the what was the is it crying of happiness of crying
was whoa whoa, I've got it on video. I watched his fucking emotional he going to put it because it's bodies' turns one on the 14th of fab Yeah, I've 1414
Valentine's Day is middle names. Valentine. Yeah, it's cute. It Valentine
here it's one thing that I I don't know. I think having a family I've thought more about releasing personal moments more than I ever have. Yeah, because they're so special to me and it's like I love capturing any moment I can I'm at a point now where I people might think oh you're ruining the moment by capturing the moment because you're probably thinking about capturing the moment I've got your way it's a extension of my left arm is my camera yeah and I don't even think like I can be in the moment and capture something it's funny
how I guess we should finish up very soon because they've been 45 minutes the head catching up with till whose little baby James was born the same day 14
yeah yeah and this Josh is Matt Yeah And
till like it's funny because I don't have kids and all that sort of thing I could go a whole conversation without really making it a thing and then I was just like I house James guy like me at the end and he like
I haven't seen so grab their phone so quickly and like I look at all these photos I might man if you've got a you've got to remember that context which people are living in and it's like I because I enjoy it it's not like I'm like I can I it's super cute but it's amazing how much it becomes part of your life because you might be decisions about where you're going to live where you going to move how you gonna fight like all of these things a heightened Yeah, I remember early like you and I have out fair amount of before we had a very low level the photos before before we came on about coming up with content and stuff like that. But I remember fact, I think
Amy was pregnant at the time. I think when we're driving and if you're I think well, I'm like St. George's rock or something. I think there must have been going to one of our do photo shoots. Yeah. And I remember talking about like, trying to understand having a kid I remember you saying
like, having a kid would be good for you. Because you wouldn't be so fucking self absorbed.
True. Like they
have a kid they and what do you think
it means? You just how many hours Am I looking after my son or being a dad to my son. But I think that my point around that was and I'll leave you with this is it's
I wonder with like, and this isn't me being fucking high and mighty. But you got like, and it's these are fucking hard conversations. But you go to the Philippines, you go to all these places and you see all these kids that don't have families or you know that that could use loving parents or even in Australia, like fact like not even looking you know, outside of our borders, but just within Australia, how many people don't have the loving family? Yeah, my parents and my I remember saying at the time and I just still don't know where I stand with it. where it's like, how many people have kids because they want a mini me how many people want to see like a little like saying what it's like and that's what my mum's fucking obsessed with issues like you and Bray would have the cutest kid like imagine the rise and the thing you know
I remember you saying this it's like you want that extension of yourself here's the thing if you're fucking thinking like that if you consciously aware enough to acknowledge those thoughts in your head don't fucking advocate
yeah but if you're not and you're loving that is that an art not an okay Isn't that like primal isn't a primal thing that we want to see that you want to spread your fucking jeans far and wide
they know I'm a bit if you would then to wrap a conscious thought around like so I want to have a little may that will So the thing is that it's I guess it's the exact same thing is like when actually the amazing thing about me I think you've taken it far too far in terms of I don't think people think that consciously around that I don't think it's conscious at all but I think that it's the that point on the selfish side of it which is you go in being selfish will come out the other side being selfless or you will be an ass all of a father and leave the kid Yeah, you've got because you can't muscle to Fisher and selfless. You can't do those two things at the same time. Yeah, so you gotta pick one or the other I think will be true. I think that makes a lot of them can be negative or positive the same time now she can be selfless and selfish at the same time. And instinctively, I resort to being selfless. Yeah. In terms of the baby, and I'll drop anything for him. And, you know, what does
it ever dynamic? How does it change the dynamic of like it relationship? So when it's, it's you and I
are dangerous. Well, it's disconnected on the lower levels. Yeah, we have to reconnect. Yeah, and we are aware we're pretty conscious couple. But we were we have to work on it. And that is why I think also around the if you're not in love with your partner. Yeah. Before you go into it. It's a challenge. Yeah. And it's scary. I don't scare the shit out of me. Yeah. So it is. It's like Sleep. Sleep deprivation is the closest thing I've ever felt to being depressed. Yeah. Because I'm not a person who gets depression. Yeah, but I definitely feel things and tiredness and lack of sleep along with the pressure of having their fucking keep working, and fronting up and building something that like a business. It's full on, dude. Yeah. And it's all my
minute. But there's all and there's only so there's, there's no one way of doing things. Right. So what you think is best for Bodie might be different to what I mean. So it's not as easy as just do the best thing for our kid. Because the best thing could be, we say is the best thing to send him to private school or public. And then that's the difference between a lot of cash, that sort of thing.
He became a dad, I said to my mate, the one who was polarized but the book I said to him, the, what he said, the biggest
stress in relationships is money. Yeah, bring a kid into that fold as well. Like, when you have a stress of money in a stress of about me. That's, that's the concoction of disaster waiting to happen. Yeah, because
the easier bits fucking fully upon your no fucking money to say, counseling. Oh, man. And I
and I think about families with no money. Like, I'm fortunate enough that I'm driven to chase the business and do all that Amy work like nothing, man. Yeah, I saw that fucking hurts my heart. Like families that don't have anything. Yeah. And I never felt like that before. But it's like something you don't truly understand it to. You rent it. And it's like, what's the empathy you can't, but it's the easiest way to build empathy is like, fucking being met. Right? And, and yeah,
experiencing and there's probably some people who are disconnected from that. And that's where like, that's where I find really interesting is, I don't think I think I maybe have a lack, like, not enough empathy for parents at the end.
And I don't know how you're going to get it unless you become one. Yeah, yeah. And like,
that's okay. And I think it's okay to right. It's the difference between what is it? empathy and sympathy, sympathy, feeling? Sorry for someone? Yeah.
Empathy is feeling it was anyone else feel? Yeah. And understanding? Yeah, really? You can't. And it's and hundred percent you cannot feel. Yeah, that's what I'm saying about my dad. It's like, I now know what he was going through. Yeah. In terms of being Have you gotten closer to your parents? Do you think since you've had a kid or what's that done? My dad my dad loves bodies. How does my mom
but I and I, it's nice seeing them. It's like this reward for them that I didn't I
yeah, it's really interesting. I think is your brother. The guys relationship family. Anyway, my bros got one. Yeah, my middle brother and my older brother has a dog within the family within family dynamics. I feel like with my like, Is there a sense is there a closer sense of not competition? But comparison with family do you think around like how they doing like an expectation? I I haven't maybe some other families? Yeah, mon Dieu. Yeah.
But I haven't. Yeah, I could say How could happen. 100%. Yeah,
because I guess there's so many different ways to sort of chop the Chase.
Chase. Chase, you prefer to eat cheese and look out for you. I
mean, this was a bit of a different like, just as a quick retrospective, the different episode yeah How do you feel like in all seriousness, how do you feel like this sort of format fast we talked a lot I mean when you talk about something that's close to you Yes. either continue Do you think this sort of shift is more like do you think is to the one thing that makes me feel uncomfortable about it is I don't like it's not an area that I'm playing in the night nor and I feel like I could look ignorant maybe
the thing about these podcasts is honesty yeah and i don't you know so if you can be honest it Shay the thing it's like the videos that have done well for me I felt a bit uncomfortable about share yeah and the topics that you're exploring and you can caveats on everything you say yeah to save your ass
what is the one caveat I would say is like there's no judge like I've got no judgment on it like it just like you even though you're still
on the fence on everything I don't think he feels a certain way
stuff is is from trying to understand versus a place of like negative judgment yeah I just don't actually fucking like if I can understand if I can't relate to a certain thing it's hard for me to build understanding
I think if your hearts in the right place in life he was can be taken out of context. But when you truly feel something like that's not me, yeah,
whatever. They know whatever they've listened to, in that should be out of not giving a fifth day thinking they didn't listen on, which gave them context of what are saying so and people are just constantly i think that i think i said last if I feel like it's the theme of the but people will fucking project out their ass and it's checked out there are other US Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
but I thank you guys. So
I feel like these sorts of conversations allow for people just to reach out and give us their thoughts. So we do have an eight year old arise by anything we've said. Yeah, I mean, if you maybe haven't even gotten this far, but we've got an email address which is high at the daily talk. show.com and we also have the P o box if you want to send us something which is p o box 400 Abbotsford Victoria at 3067. We're on the socials as well to say our names. And on YouTube, Tommy's youtube.com. forward slash Tommy Jackie. And I am youtube.com forward slash Josh Johnson. Hope you have a great Wednesday. Like to work. Yes. Wait till you launch. How long's it gone? It's gone for 51 minutes
tomorrow won't be this lot shorter.
Thanks, guys. Bye.