#805 – Controlling Your Controllables/
- July 29, 2020
We chat about feeling a bit down, controlling your controllables, perspective, escapism and distractions, and having an impact.
On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss:
– Reality TV and Too Much Tully
– Feeling depressed
– Controlling your controllables
– Coaching and focus
– A rule for change
– Documentaries and escapism
– An announcement
– An Instagram cull
– Stress and having an impact
Email us: firstname.lastname@example.org
Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067
The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you’re part of the Gronk Squad.
This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/
It's the daily Talk Show Episode 805.
What's happening guys? What's going on? Happy Hump Day. Ladies and gentlemen, go check out Jay B's
episode with Ryan. JOHN. It's out now.
Yeah, it's just dropped and also, Telly Smyth too much Telly podcast dropped yesterday, which is already causing some controversy
or she was having a meltdown yesterday. Will she be doing a follow up? Do you think? Maybe, who knows?
I mean, I just talked one sort of second glimpse into the world of the reality TV shows the blow up is literally a guy she had on her podcast too much Telly is the bad boy at the moment on a reality show. And I usually don't enter into it because I'm not five. And I don't want to feel like I'm back in high school again, but I just watched a short clip from bachelor in paradise. Wow way have I got some fucking fresh out of ACI entities on that job. It's just like they just don't give a shit they're taking audio from an interview probably done in a in a in a house mixing it with audio that's recorded out on the beach and you can clearly hear the difference and they clearly stitching together bits to make people just sound like absolute flogs
and that point into some multimedia pieces. It's
it has become it's a collage, it's like you look at a collage and you go out to bit shifts this should pay you know stuck together, then you can go out to kind of art at that point. It's the most bizarre thing ever. Anyway, that was a well conceived So anyway, yeah,
tell he was tell he was worried that she didn't come across as if she was supporting women, which she is and so she was freaking out about that. But what we were saying is the great thing about having a podcast is you can just come on the next episode. Say hi guys. I just want to clarify a few things. Yeah,
yeah. I mean, is there anything you need to clarify at the moment sort of thing you've been spewing getting across
on I was hoping that you would coach me today.
really feeling flat man. Yeah.
I was like, I was thinking I was like, well, I just feel like I've got and I'm not going to cry today, like I did on episode because I haven't had to drink. I mean, now Well,
can that be you feeling cry?
The cry guy ratio, very annoying. When you're not gonna be the cry guy. You are the crowd. Like, there's something nice, man. I can't potty watch a movie. without crying. There's that guy. And like, there's the other one, which is like, you're not that guy. But you still cry when it's not a brand value. So
I think being emotional is great. Like, I think it's I'm definitely more emotional since having Bodhi and being married and just not
it's a control. It's a control thing though, right. Like you want to If you're if you're doing a speech or something, or if you're talking like you want to sort of gain control with your, you know what you're doing, but you know, I just feel like I'm just a little bit fuckin depressed today. So,
yeah, I'll be going for a walk. No.
walks in lovely, you know, you know, you know the remedy. I mean,
what I went for a walk yesterday. Yeah, with jack pose but I still felt like I felt good straight after and I was just a bit exhausted by last night. I think it's that classic thing of like, I always want to sleep. I just feel like sleeping. But then I get into bed I go to bed the latest, like so it's this weird thing of like, all I want to do is sleep. But I'm just gonna, like go to bed 11 o'clock and I'm just going to scroll on my phone just to make sure just to see if anything's happening online.
Well, it's a choose your own adventure. You can answer the two follow you can answer One of the two following questions. What's the biggest challenge for you? Or you can take the other route, which is less coach like and it's just what are you most grateful for at the moment and the last
in the you know, whenever I'm doing a challenge I did ask to be coached. Yeah. What's the challenges having a high expect, like having high expectations? And then try, like trying to understand. So Nathan Chen from founder magazine talked about the advice he got around controlling your controllables. And I'm not completely sure which things I can control at the moment and which I can't.
What are some controllables that you've
learned? I just I think that like, so like, there's obviously like a bunch of ambiguity ambiguity of the moment with COVID. And so it's trying to work out. Like we've got big dreams of what we want to do better then I think that there's less surety in like, there just has to be like, I just feel like even when you're having conversations, there's always been the opportunity or the potential of something happening or things not working out. But you could have a conversation with people in selling something. And that sort of people buy it and understand it. But now that there really is COVID. You can't just get away with saying, Hi, this is what we want to do for the future. It's like, but is that really going to happen? So I don't know. Like, I think that the challenge is in. Yeah, knowing part of its expectations. Part of it's like, okay, where I want to where I expect us to be where I want us to be where I expect us to be going, but then also trying to take the foot off the pedal a little bit and that my God, what would it be? What would Be like to have a day of not having that energy. Like, almost like a holiday type of thing for a day, does it? does it serve you the energy? does it serve the mission? does it serve your wife? I think it has, I think it has. So I think that like, it's it's this very fine line. It's almost like a cliff. And it serves. But now like, I think that it does, it does take a bit of a bit more energy, if that makes sense. At the moment,
it can take a toll or it can it requires a level of energy. And so, in terms of the controllables, if you brought it back to you, what are you what are your controllables outside because you talked externally sort of people and people's views on vision or the future, because everyone everyone's battling with the version of what the facts the future look like for themselves. What are the what are the Things that you can control from the bedroom without speaking to anybody like from
Yeah, I get it. And I think that that's the annoying thing with this stuff is that we all like we've had we've spoken to enough great people read enough awesome books to understand that it's just like getting up saying, you know it's going to be a great day making an outline and then just simplifying writing out that list saying, Okay, this is, this is what is going to happen today. But I think that there is also something in when you're when you're feeling this way of like, I just can't be factoring anything like so then it becomes hard like the depressive night Even though I'm not. I've got no diagnosis and I can love a good self diagnosis, but from what people have told me from that depressive state perspective is it's like things become hot, the easy becomes hard. And so the easy thing of just faking getting up and doing this and stuff, and that's the hard stuff. Yeah,
I mean, how crazy is that? Like, I reckon I've got out of the house when I've needed to exercise and felt so she's been said, you can almost start running while you're crying. And I reckon by the time you can get a kilometre down the road, you'd shift the state. And, like, it's his stuff. Even angry, like if you just started using the thing, you're at work and you just get angry and you fucking running, running out the door, because it will shift it but like you said, the easy thing a go for a walk. It's like a fact. It's like that is easy. And so there's the version of when that becomes difficult, or thing that you like doing.
Do you know who we should? Do you know who we should get on? We should get an X swimmer like an Olympic swimmer. Because I feel like this COVID stuff not comparing myself to an Olympian. But if you if you imagine being an Olympic swimmer, I feel like this has happened so many times and Olympian, they've got everything dialled in, it's like they do their training. And then they need to have a life after sport, and then they go off the rails and start taking drugs and get super depressed.
I think you're, I mean, your approach. I think about probably three weeks ago, you were on a high interest in terms of your view on what we're doing and everything that like you felt great and, and I was rubbing your energy that you could look at that and say, most people were there based on the new lockdown and you know, head going fucking back into that dark space. And so you do have the ability to be the light in that darkness. But it's and then it's just bye I
think that that maybe is part of it like I think it so I can be sold in, I think that what I'm feeling is maybe the pressure on my shoulders for everyone else. And so I think that that's aware, like so controlling the controllables if you're just thinking about yourself and just in combat, then it becomes quite easy. But I think that it's everything like just thinking about if I can, all different people and what that like, how are we doing this? How we're doing that? What's happening here? How's everyone feeling within the team? What's that? Like? I just think that it's, um,
yeah, I think that it's hard because you can
control you can control everyone's feelings about the time and so and that's why it's like, you know, we want to hang around people that that make us feel great. And
usually everyone does. But I think that is just I think that it's a it's just trying to understand of Wayne. It's that thing about Like how like, safe breeze not feeling well or she's had a bad day, knowing when just to listen, like when your job is just to listen, versus actually try and figure out and coach through the problem. And I think that maybe, yeah, I'm spending too much time or energy trying to find solutions to absolutely everything.
Yeah, yeah. And so when when you say, the coaching thing, I need
to be coached that
it's also like, do you need to be coached? Like, is it something like I understand, it's like when Amy like you sign with Brady. It's like when he brings something to me, I fucking want to solve that thing. Yeah, but that sometimes the chat like, what's your observation on times like this, where you want it where you're speaking to somebody and you do want them to actually
challenge you or, you know, question you about what's going Do you think
that serves? I think that that's I think, like the language questioning has like some negative connotations, or it's sort of, it's the same sort of combative was, I think it's just like uncovering stuff. So how do you get someone and maybe that's what that you talked about what the psychologists, that's what they're doing is it's like, identifying, okay, like, let's put it all out there. You know, I don't know
why and sometimes the value in it is when you don't actually know what they're trying to do or what they're either just asking you to talk to specific things and then and then there's a moment where the penny drops, and you You're great at connecting the dots, but sometimes you don't know what dots you need to connect until someone presents them for you. What do you think? What's the biggest challenge for you?
And I think it's just Focus, I think, I think there's too There's too many, too many things I'm thinking about in a single day. And then and then it's
become that, that the focus is so spread or the focus becomes too many things. And so
well, yeah, I think that one of the many things when you're trying to do so many things, you feel like you're not making any progress and you're just having all of this. It's just like, you're going from one conversation to the next conversation, you're dipping in and out and you felt like, it's, like exhausting, but then it doesn't necessarily feel like you've made progress.
That requires a focus, but there's a difference between Can you even say focus when you're talking about multiple things, or is focus purely one, I'm not sure what the
Well, I think the like, focus to a task
so you've got, you know, you're doing an edit and you hyper in the moment, thinking about one thing, you've got
I think I'm looking at more on sort of the macro level, which is focus. All of these little things add up to one big focus. Yeah. And so I think that there's potentially too many into No, I just I think that like, so I spoke about on Monday, how I went through and did that list, write down everything and Monday was like a really solid day.
Yeah. Sean, Sean has written the comments and said whenever he feels like he's in a similar position, he always asked himself the same thing. What's one thing I can change now? That will make tomorrow better?
Which is hard because it's,
it doesn't necessarily feel like it will make tomorrow better if you change one thing today.
Yeah. Well, I think that the heart of it to maybe is like the Radical like, as you said, like I feel awesome, like, so you lost like two weeks ago, whatever, like feeling really good and got it worked out. And so having the contrast, like I think that part of it is just recognising that this like, this is how I operate. It goes like very high sort of functioning, getting heaps done dragging everyone along being like, Come on, let's do it. This is what we're doing. But then, but I think that that's also potentially from a teaching perspective. Like I think if we look at the last couple of years without us, we have had that naturally where it's, you're feeling great. I'm not feeling great. You're not feeling great. I'm feeling great like it oscillates. And probably you're further along now potentially feeling a little bit better than what you were.
I mean, from the start of the week where I announced that I've stopped drinking. It's interesting that like, it's I feel Like if there was ever, you know, metaphor for I flicked a switch, it feels like that when when I make a decision. And then that I mean, it's a it's a funny thing, because that's all on me that could shift something externally. And for the people around me, but that's me making that choice. And so it's fucking hard though like a
lot. It's also the holiday thing. Like, I've gone on holiday every single year for the past 10 years or whatever, every June, July. It's like, going sort of US or Europe or whatever and doing summer. And so I think potentially just a rolling in at the moment there isn't that. So typically, it's like at least I know, I'm like in this time, I'm going to be away and I'll be able to reset and that's enough energy to be like I've got, I've got enough fuel in the tank to be able to do that. Whereas right now, it feels like we've got a certain amount of fuel in the tank, but we don't know exactly where the destination is or where where where could like we have a direction we know where we want to go is from a direction perspective. We're very clear on the compass, but we don't know if it's a straight line there. Or if it's a fucking seven year, road, you know, like and, and the thing and so there's that anxiety around like, how much fuel do we have?
And the refuelling comes for you when you when you take time or you have a holiday or?
Yeah, well, I think that adjust it removes the pressure for a moment. It provides perspective. I think at the moment, it's like, how do I find any perspective So, for instance, yeah, normally there's a bunch of different ways that you can find perspective. Like, that's what I guess, like weekends are great for or even like switching off in the real sense of going from one place to another. But at the moment, it's just like a bit of a constant on
what are some other ways to find perspective? If what's off the table is weekends, we really don't do much. I feel like assignments that week or most holidays are off the table for a little while. Is there is there any other things that shift perspective for you that in the past?
Yeah, I think that that's what I'm trying to uncover like so. For some it's the Yeah, it's the project thing it could be. But even that is the fucking exhausting stuff, right? Like, trying to figure out how I'm going to switch off or get perspective is Like I'm thinking about it to a point of, you know, it's almost like paralysis. Yeah, it's it feels like we're fuckin not to be too hyperbolic if you're imagining that you're in a fucking war and you're not quite sure how they're going to hit you you don't know if it's fucking coming from the sky You don't know if it's coming from the sea. You don't know if it's internally and so then you start checking everything and it's like, you fucking you're running around the island being like, we we set up here, we and then you making calls around you know what, probably in the evenings it'd be more likely to come from air. So let's switch up our thing there and then it's like our hang on but it's like what what's the weather doing or the weather's here? So we should maybe maybe they could come from see and so I think that it's a constant and I'm not even fucking consuming the news I've taken off. This is me taking off the table. Anything that the premier It says every single day. So it's not like a news cycle thing for me.
And so the I mean, the the habit thing has it worked for you in the past for like the books that you've read. Like if you had to work out something that you needed to do, because it sounds like it's more of a needing to take action on something to shift the the internal state because you're saying you can think yourself and it just makes it you can think hard about it, which doesn't really bring on change. We can't think ourselves out of holes. Well, yeah,
I think that it's like, for me, I feel like I need to give myself a break like I need to allow. I don't think I've allowed properly so there's been like a tiny bit of procrastination but for the most part, I've been very just dialled in doing stuff. I think for me, it's like Like, I need to be more specific around, I'm not fucking doing anything like, I'm not thinking about this stuff because even it's, I see the, the, you know, moving forward. So it's like, on the weekend, you know spending, you know, hours learning stuff and researching. I see the benefit I see that moves forward. But then the concern is that it's like, either then mid weight, you're not fit you feeling burnt out. It's a bit of a bit of an issue.
Yeah, I mean, cuz that intensity on a weekend of diving in as much as it can feel like, yeah, it's productive. It's interesting, because you're working out where it fits in the equation overall. And so it's about Yeah, I mean, it's one of the hottest things to end quote. quotation marks, switch off. It's, it's super hard. How do you switch off like,
genuinely, I don't think Do I think that's the that's the thing that I'm trying to figure out? And I don't necessarily the funny thing is with holidays as a fucking, unless I'm doing something unless it's a city, and I'm around stuff and doing stuff, I'm not necessarily like, I'm not a beach holiday guy. So I like doing stuff. I like the stimulus of constantly connecting dots. Hmm. But it's so so when you say if you're travelling and you're, it's it's input. It's high input based on, you know, stimulus.
for me, I think part of it might be research. I think I've just got too many balls in the air potentially, like I think that. So if I'm like hyper focused on a theme, or a definition, I think I've got like any real clear definition of done at the moment, they're these ongoing projects, where it's like you don't know when you're going to become an expert at this or expert at that.
I think it's a pain of someone building a business or some trying to build something. It's because you could, you could ask the question, if you just did one thing, and, you know, strip back the focus and did one thing. Sure other things will drop off and not have the attention that you previously gave them. But if you did one thing, what would it be? And what would
it Oh yeah, I think that like for me, I even think about the, like Friday night drinks and all of that sort of stuff. Like for me, stepping back and making that decision around like, hey, let's dial back all of that stuff was me identifying a thing that wasn't that was making me too tweaked and thinking too much and working stuff out. And so getting rid of that helped. And so now I think it's just I think that the problem is that I pride myself on being a communicator. And so what I'm doing at the moment is it Every single time there's a problem or an issue, or I sense something from someone, I want to talk it out. But everyone seems to have a fucking problem at the moment ever, like, everyone's not sure. And so I'm trying to compete and I'm not necessarily sure on certain things. And so I'm spending all of my time being like, the weapon of choice for me is communication. But then I'm fucking spending hours at a time chatting, talking through trying to create alignment and then I'm not feeling like it's real. I don't feel any closer than what I was before.
Yeah, because the exhaustion coming from those emotional conversations, emotion being whatever, you know, different for every combo, but they are exhausting. So that's like a it's a parent level that you can imagine a parent with five kids feeling the pressure of managing five people and Feeling just like Fat Fat back? Just trying to make everyone happy trying to make sure everyone's communicating. I empathise with that.
And because you can see it though, too, right? Like, I think that there is a intuitive nature, where it's like, okay, when you're seeing different people, but even like outside of work and friendship, like seeing friends struggling and thinking, Okay, I want to help. What's my responsibility and helping hat like, is this helping? Is this hindering? What do they need? How can I like, all of those things I find quiet, exhausting. We we spoke on Monday
around my rule of removing alcohol and you know, spoke to how rules you think is very powerful Villa, if there was a rule for you to implement. That would you think would bring some change? What would it be?
Yeah. I'm not sure. I think there's something in There's something in simplifying and focus, or just identifying the battle that I'm willing to enter into. I think that I'm feel like I'm at that state of anything anytime. You know, just anytime I see something, I'm like, I need to respond to that. And so I think it's the control your controllables beat. I feel like there's a piece of work in identifying all of your controllables and then cutting it in half. And then looking at what controllable will have the biggest impact?
And then even identifying the things that you feel like you don't have control of. Mm hmm. I guess. I mean, this is just an i think that what you said was great. And then because there's also like, if you feel out of control in specific area. Does that mean that it can't be controlled?
Yeah, well, I think that it's, um,
it feels like during a pandemic, the controllables become very novel. So the controllables are, what time you wake up? Or how you know, those types of things, right? Like they're very, very, they're not like big, exciting things. They're really what time you go to bed. Yeah, not having your phone on, like after, after 8pm like those are the main troubles. Yeah.
What are you consuming what you're eating I mean, this is these are like, human needs at this point, like human human requirements. It's like connection,
You know, these are highly relatable But I think there'd be a bunch of patterns that have built up in people in the last six months, four months from the pandemic that Yeah, need some racing.
I watched three identical strangers on Monday night. didn't like it. That's right. well made. Well, trying to find great documentaries. I think that's a good way of switching off. But the thing is, that part of it is like to switch up like I'm like, before I'm watching. I'm like, now if I could, like, What's this, like, from a content perspective, I almost need like, filters. I can't watch. So even for me, like the frozen behind the scenes daco thing. I'm looking at their processes and their systems and how they doing things and walk away be doing and it's like, it's even the things that could be enjoyable. I feel like I've got that like That sort of lens of like are how can we use it? Or how can we win the war with this? And so, yeah, it's um,
I think it is think about the people that read books that are just about nothing worlds that don't fiction and fiction and you just like, I think a lot of people who probably similar to you and I alike, what that bringing to my life, what's that adding to it? It's not helping me learn something. But there is a great skill in being able to do things that to just take time off from connecting to the other shit and so it can feel I think there are challenges that doesn't feel productive. But think about the productivity in disconnecting. That's so high. It's huge. Yeah,
and that's what people do with like the cooking or you know, like finding those types of things. I think they're really cool.
Yeah, sit mister 97 was down the park kicking the soccer ball. I mean, that's cute as fuck as he's with his girlfriend. Oh, and I just thought about it was so funny he said that to me, I was like, fuck I remember doing what I would say to be a kid again during work hours No, but just for me just throwing the Frisbee. Indiana like Rick, it's being out. So I called in
the day was in his cubby house. It's like night Sorry, I can't get face time I'm in the sandpit I want to get sand on my butt. Look at the castle I made that's good.
Yes, import I mean, the thing about the physical so outside of, I don't think meditation and, and is the same as being in the zone while playing tennis or kicking the soccer ball is slightly different things but the qualities that are similar are an extreme focus on something that it requires your focus to do it which distracts you from your thought and so the heartbeat about I think what you're saying Is that it's extreme thinking it's extreme cerebral noise that is causing the feeling for you. And so what what are the things that you could sort of just someone's distraction? Really, it's like that take you out of that. So watching your daco where you have that filter of fucking deconstructing, I can't watch something without thinking about how they've edited it, and how much bullshit it is. And so all the stories not great or whatever it is, I have that and so that doesn't come when I do other activities that are not doing enough of
Well, I think the rating is good. Like I think that the the cop out with the audio book is the audio book means I can do other stuff. And you think you've been thinking about it like and but I think that the, the process of reading the book, maybe here's his here's an announcement for the 29th organised August is back
I mean, the guy's just right. He literally thought about it right then and then just announced that right there
and that felt good. I felt like if we learn anything announcements have come through but organised August is back. And part of organised August being back. His book club is back. Yeah,
yeah. But I think I think just before you go deep, you're going to now be thinking about the anxiety of getting people involved. Like you need a designer straightaway that can actually cancel the shop because
everyone getting their books.
I've just cancelled organised August and it's, it's called Joshua's month, there's gonna be a lot of movement. I don't know Josh's month of mindfulness Joshua's miles a month about you, you don't make it about bookclub for other people. It's
just, I would just write a book and let's write a book. That's nice. organise orders that did Really? Yeah, I do like it. I do like it everything that people need organise August. Yeah,
Jackie says can absolutely relate to all of this. The exhaustion and constant burnout feeling is a real struggle at the moment. Which is Yeah, I mean, you've experienced burnout before I feel.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean, I think that was the brain I went away for, like we did a four month trip. And it was like me leaning into burnout beforehand. We got we got a nice email from anonymous. She said, Hi, gronk. I just thought I would drop you a line and let you know how much I enjoy the show. I started listening a couple of months ago, and look forward to popping up it popping up in my feed. Every day. I really miss a day. By day I'm a 30 something litigation lawyer doing technical Building and Construction law disputes. And it's really cool to listen to you guys. On my way home, talking about creative shit, and it gives me some perspective on things. And otherwise just banter. It feels like you're my mate my years, I've been going through a bit of serious issues, mental health wise recently, which has meant some time in hospital and your podcast genuinely helped me get through it. And so I was super nice.
It's Yeah, I mean, I think we're all feeling it. From Monday's episode about alcohol. I've had a bunch of people, Chris gleann in trainer reach out to me just, you know, a bunch of other people just sort of understanding and dealing with their own version of something. And and, yeah, I mean, what we're definitely not alone is in is in dealing with shit. Hmm.
Yeah, it feels so like I think that part of it was like so in traditional media idea as a sort of a presenter, or as a sort of announced a radio announcer it's your job to sort of bring a bring a vibe or sort of be that escape. I think that what, what's different about what we're doing is we have the opportunity of being like, Oh, you know what, we're all in this shared experience. And then let's talk about actually how we're feeling because then I think that there's probably a bunch of people listening who are like are fuck this Yeah, I feel the exact same way. And then it's like, if you know that other people are fact as well. You don't feel so bad. Yeah.
Yeah, all in it together. You sung that song. We're all in with a pen like, Oh, yeah, he's just Riley sees it. I thought he was English. For some reason.
I think he lives in the US. I follow him on Instagram.
Yes. Oh, is that the daily talk show.
The other day, by the way. Who's got who got rid of all your fucking
any celebrities super rotten
leaning sort of.
Ben Shapiro got
we've got it down to I want us to get down to white following over 1000 it was just too many. But you're I think that you got too happy on the follow.
I don't know. I mean, there's a few people that have that. Are you
following regularly as you is that it is? No,
no, no, no, no. I watch it. I watch it. I am. It's quite easy to get to the foul. I think Ryan John's at about 7000 followers. He's following 7000 people. Not too many.
Can you enjoy Instagram?
Or not? Yeah, that is the interesting bit as it curate your feed anyway. One thing we definitely don't need is more Instagram. I mean, what is the thought about doing less not I mean,
what I did not go out. I got off social media. I get it, but I guess the problem is that
that's rule that nice oh, like that. Yeah.
So what I identified though that it's like it does serve as someone doing a podcast. If you've if you've got a podcast, it is very beneficial to have social media and not doing that, I think is I think that it's a very unique case unless you are Matt Tilley, who is a radio announcer from the 90s who couldn't make bank through being a breakfast show in a capital city like unless you have that in 2020 I don't know. I don't know where where that sort of fits.
Yeah, I guess but then that same thinking was I agree with you. You look at barefoot investor doesn't know shit on social media. Does I didn't have internet pharmacy. Yeah, probably not. But he has he's email subscribers. He has his community he's written the books and does his thing not saying that you were looking to be version of him or Matt D Avella, who I appreciate for having taken the first year or two years of his YouTube channel and made it the focus outside of his Instagram that built that has organically built by not organically, but it's built off the back of him focusing on one thing and so the the trick, the way we go wrong I feel is convincing ourselves that you have to do everything to win. And because then it's it is right and it is wrong. Because there are some people that have done everything and win and wins. But what happens if you do everything and you win? What is that expectation? What will what is the world that creates
it What about if you focus in your when I was even thinking about Dave Allah and unlike the he's found a very specific niche or nuance or like his specific area that he's focusing in on and catching up with him with monopoly on Sundays, I'll ask him and I'll report back, but I have a feeling that it must be fucking hard for him right now, just like it is for everyone. But I think that as a creator, you can see just even even without speaking to him every day, just saying, posting and saying that like, just the grind of like, for someone who is so consistent, so persistent, so committed to the to the, to the craft, and the process and all that sort of thing. I think that that focus can be also quite hard during this time.
Yeah, definitely. I guess it's What do you
feel? Do you actually feel that like, how do you like if you were to deconstruct that,
no, no, I do, I think I think to have any version of success. requires some kind of tweaking this to you because the easier option is to do fucking nothing and non create and not put stuff out and be at home and just I feel like I want to do that sometimes because I feel like it that's the easiest go to. That's why I feel like alcohol for me is too easy for me to get to a place of pleasure. Like it's too easy. And so is Yeah.
And I agree. I think that that's that's the struggle that I'm feeling is I'm like, there is something in there is a moment where you catch yourself and you're like I none of this really matters. And then when you think about none of this mattering that like I think that the only reason we've gotten as far as we have is we thought that and so like I read that email because I'm like, like we are having an impact. And what we're doing does matters to some people.
Yeah, yeah. But then if you just what I mean if you Do the math on pulling back 30% across everything and we just did the podcast each day and posted once on social media, would it be the same as
being stressed and trying to do everything always and always on? And I think where I think what we're experiencing is it's like I see 80% of our stress is making it work financially through all of our business stuff. And so for me if anything the show is the the outlet, it's the the sweetener, but then bringing everything else into it being like, okay, we're doing video production, like video production is our bread and butter, having shoots having shoots that are, you know, worth 10s of thousand dollars moving around all the time having all of these things that happen it's like that's the that To the pain point at the moment, right, the pain point is it's like, the the engine that we're using to fund all of this to make it happen, is getting hit like it. If anything. The podcast is like thriving, the podcast can continue, and it can do really well. And so there's almost a separation that needs to happen to around the show. And what we're doing here, which, like, that's why I think I was fired out, like when I'm fired up. It's when I'm like, I see the opportunity of providing connection and all of that sort of thing in a time like, now, this is the, this is what podcasting is designed for. But then there's also just those realities of the day to day, getting that engine continuing and working.
That's a good thought. And so do you circle Do do, because they can blend the feelings can blend between what we do here on this show, and then what we're trying to do outside of the show that people don't see. Is there some kind of energy that's going to the other thing that people don't say that's falling into the show? And then it's like modelling the thing and needs to have a circle around it to say, Well, I think that,
yeah, I just I think that because we are communicate doing a show that's about us and what sort of thing it's, these conversations are important. I think that that's actually what gives us the depth if we were just in the position of, we could just do a podcast, we probably have lost touch with what's actually going on because we wouldn't have had the pain point but I think that we've got the unique situation where it's like, the day to day grind of trying to figure it all out when not You know, like, super privileged position where we can just do the show. And that's it. But it is, if you look back at, you know, us going to two days a week and doing all of that sort of thing for me, that was easier. Based on a single focus, I could really focus on it, I could learn, like, focus on the tech focus on, you know, all of those elements. But then I guess when you've got all of these other things, there's a bit of whiplash that's going on where it's like, need to be, again, writing back to clients doing all of that sort of thing. And so it's, it feels like having a couple of jumps.
Yeah, it's definitely the way I mean, but it's for the future. It's a is the sacrifice.
Yeah, and that's, that's why I like the way that's why I'm wary of talking about it because it's like, it can come across as just being a bit of a bitch about it all and just like complaining and like, I know that we have it really Good. And so that's the whole thing. But I think that the mental health stuff of the the challenges, don't discriminate, it happens to everyone, no matter where you are in your journey. And so I think that is probably there'll be a bunch of people who would this connects with. There might be people who it's like, they don't get it. And so everything's relative. If you're worried for me, I'm not worried about a job. I always know that I can find work and I can do that and like all of that, but for me, the challenges something a bit different. Yeah.
And it's, it takes time to work that out and then
apply the focus to
how you look after yourself. So that's what you're doing. Appreciate. I appreciate you sharing rather than just, you know, bringing in and distract and distracting yourself from these feelings. Nice don't just like we can just have a conversation about whatever
thank you if you want to send us an email hi at the daily talk show calm How you going? We love getting your emails thank you as well for your email and is a is always is great. Thank you Shana also DM me about our episode with Phoebe from yesterday which is lovely, right? But um, yeah, great. Enjoy the rest of your day everyone and we'll see you tomorrow. Have a good one.
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